So I’ve talked about how when you go through something troubling and tragic that you can be in pain for an unknown period of time. After the initial pain, numbness, or shock is over, you can still be hurting. There is a point where you start to heal and you may not be hurting as much, but your mental and emotional state is fragile.
Fragile, What Do You Mean?
What I mean is that your mind and your body are in a state where you are very uncomfortable being around any kind of conflict or arguing. You don’t want to argue or fight with anyone or get yelled at by someone. You can be very sensitive to other peoples facial expressions, gestures, and their tone of voice. Even if they raise their tone a little, your mind can translate that to yelling where you can become very uncomfortable and even sad. Your in a very delicate emotional state and that’s ok. You had something horrible happen to you; you can’t just bounce back from it within the hour or next day. Those feelings have to run there course otherwise if they stay bottled up, they’ll come out on their own. You may not like how they come out.
If you have ever felt like this, your not alone. I have felt like this myself and I know a friend of mine was like this last year. Some people hide this state of mind from their co-workers, fellow students, acquaintances, teachers, even friends and family members. I know because I’ve done it myself.
Those Surprising Ways
In this state of mind, you may feel fatigued and not have hardly any energy to do anything. For example, maybe you had an exercise routine where you worked out a few days a week for an hour, but now you don’t have the energy to do it. You might want to stay in bed all day and may sleep all day.
Talking to someone can become difficult whether it’s in person, by phone, or text. You are in a vulnerable state and may not have the energy to stand up for yourself in any situation.
You may even lose your appetite or eat very little. You also may have trouble controlling your thoughts because your mind might want to replay the negative thing that happened to you.
If you had a falling out with someone, hearing their name, seeing them in person or a photo of them, for example can be triggers that drive up your anxiety and you can have trouble focusing on things.
If your were harassed or abused by someone, those same triggers can bring about instant fear where you can start sweating, want to hide, have trouble breathing, or staying still for example.
If this is you, then here’s some tips to get you through this:
- Slow down and be in the present
- Don’t criticize yourself
- Let out your real feelings
- What do you need that will help you
- Be gentle with yourself
- Take some alone time if you need it to sort out things out
- Practice different relaxation techniques
Being in a fragile emotional state can lower the number of things you can normally tolerate. For example if you were able to handle yourself when someone gave you a bad attitude, you may not be able to do that in this fragile state of mind. That bad attitude would get to you and could bring your mood down.
You can feel fatigued, have trouble sleeping, feel withdrawn from people, and maybe excessively worry about things. Things that you normally wouldn’t worry about. You may even feel worthless and have trouble doing anything productive.
Walk, Don’t Run
When I say be gentle with yourself, I mean that you shouldn’t rush the healing process. After the initial hurt, shock, and numbness have happened, you begin to start feeling ok, but you feel like glass. As I mentioned, the things you were able to tolerate and cope with before, you may not be able to handle them right away.
You may have been dealing with difficult people at work, school, or with family members. In this state, you may not be able to stand your ground and hold your own with them. You may feel like avoiding any kind of confrontation because you just can’t deal with it right now that.
Let the feelings run their course. There may be days where you feel sad. If that’s the case let yourself be sad. If you have to miss a party or event because you need some alone time, that’s ok. Sometimes you need that alone time to sort things out and put yourself back together. I have done this myself. Engaging in your hobbies can be helpful. Painting, building a model of something, playing video games, watching movies, doing a puzzle, playing with your pets, etc are things you can do by yourself. If you need to vent and let off some steam, find someone who will listen to you. Maybe you just need to let out a good yell. I have tried a technique where I tightened and relaxed my muscles (Progressive Muscle Relaxation).
Getting a little personal, after my mom passed away from stage 4 lung cancer, I didn’t have the energy to do anything. Spending time with friends was a hard thing to gather energy to do. My best friend from high school helped me to get out of the house. I enjoyed hiking in a new area and met new friends.
Everyone who has been in a fragile, emotional and mental state has handled it differently than the other person. Some people need to be alone and some need to be around others who love and care about them. You have to figure out what’s best for you. What’s important is that you make sure that you eat something and not neglect your hygiene. If a shower doesn’t feel right, try taking a bath and just lay in the water. Maybe music will help you to express the emotions you’re currently feeling. Take care of yourselves and remember your not alone in the world and you have worth.