Have you ever been around someone and you just get a vibe from them about whether or not you should talk to them or not? Their words say one thing and yet your not sure if you should ask them a question or not. You start thinking ‘should I even be around them though’.
If you have had these thoughts before, your not the only one. I’ve had those thoughts myself. There are people who are cautious about who they talk to. They are also cautious about who they invest their time and energy with.
Why Do People Think This Way?
Shyness, unwanted stress and anxiety, letting insecurities run your life, not knowing how to introduce yourself to others, and fear in general can be factors of why someone will keep to themselves and not talk to someone. These factors can cause someone to think other people are not approachable. If your confused and/or don’t understand something, you don’t ask a question or for help and you just keep it to yourself. However that’s not always the case.
People give off vibes about their personality. This is can be from the way they talk and the way they act around friends, family, and strangers. Some people say things to invite others into their lives like, “If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask”, or “You can call or text me anytime”. Words say one thing, the behavior from the person can say another.
There are people who can pick up on good and bad vibes from others very easily. There are people who you can open up to about anything. There are those you can open up to, but you are still reserved on some deep personal things.
If you know someone who raises their voice to the point of yelling during a simple conversation and has trouble talking to people, chances are this person isn’t very approachable even if they say you can talk to them anytime you need to. Then you have someone who smiles when they’re around people they know and don’t know. They are being kind and generous to others. When they say things, you can take their word for it. These types of people are approachable to go up to. You can introduce yourself to them and ask them questions easily.
Here’s some tips and ways to approach other people better and how you can become more approachable to others:
- Be respectful to others and yourself
- Smile and laugh
- Take people up on their offer when they say you can ask them anything
- Use eye contact
- Take some deep breaths
- Rehearse your introduction to others
- Keep your head up
- Mirror the person your talking to
- Avoid nervous twitching and habits
- Be accessible to others
- If your holding something like a drink, hold it at your side, not in front of your chest
- Be positive
- Nod and acknowledge the other person during a conversation
Anyone can be approachable; only you can decide if that’s you. Confidence doesn’t come easy for some people. It can take time, but that’s ok. Just be patient and keep working on it. If you have trouble looking someone in the eye, try looking at just one of their eyes or in between their eyes until it gets easier. Not everyone is out to get you. People who say ‘you can come to me and ask me questions’ some really do mean it. That goes for the same to those people who say ‘were always here for you’.
Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.