New Beginnings…A New You

Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over

Guy Finley

There have been times where we have gotten used to something, like a routine, and for a long period of time it became a part of our life. Then something happened that shook our world and we had to start over. We were so comfortable doing what we were doing, we didn’t want to start from scratch again. However, even though we didn’t want to start over, it actually may be good for us.

New Beginnings: A Fresh Start

Your not alone if you’ve had to start over anything in your life. I’ve had to and there are so many people who have had to as well. A new beginning can describe various life situations. You move to a new town and go to a new school where you make new friends. You start a new job and you have to adjust to a new work environment and interact with new co-workers. You get married, you have a child are new beginnings. You quit your old habits and work on developing new ones which can be a new beginning. The high school to college transition I talked about in a previous post is also a new beginning. These are a some handful of life situations where a new beginning can occur. New beginnings can be scary because we’re transitioning out of something comfortable to something that isn’t and may be rough. The unknown factor rears itself into this idea because we can’t predict how things will turn out whereas before there was that predictability. Starting over isn’t always an easy thing regardless of what it is, but sometimes it’s necessary.

The Adjustment Phase

We have a period of adjustment in anything new that we do. There is no way to get around it. Any kind of adjustment is going to take time to get used to. In some cases, your changing your behavior into something that is supposed to be better for you. This concept is something that can’t be rushed. Sometimes it can be a uncomfortable transition, but not always. New beginnings can be helpful for us to grow as a person. We learn new skills, acquire new knowledge, and can meet new people who can help us to continue to grow. They can help us learn new things about ourselves directly and indirectly. They can become life long friends regardless of distance.

If your struggling with beginning something new, here are some ways that can help you through it:

1. Let go of things that your unable to control and move on.

2. Change your mindset

3. Accept a new reality

4. Hold onto the good things

5. Take that chance

6. Freedom in the unknown

7. Keep going

Discussion

A new beginning requires you to move forward and let go of things. There may be things that your unable to control and you have been trying but with no success. So if that’s the case, it would be best you stop trying. Trying to control something that you can’t can have a bad impact on your overall health.

Changing your mindset is important because it will help you through the adjustment phase. If you go into something new and or start over, you won’t get far if your telling yourself that you can’t do it, your going to fail, nothing good will out of this, or this is a waste of time. Positive self talk will help you believe in yourself and also help in not letting the fresh start be overwhelming and even confusing. It does take awhile to adapt to a new mindset; don’t rush it, be patient with yourself.

A new beginning can consist of a new reality. This reality may include learning something new, meeting new people, adapting to a new environment and atmosphere whether that’s a new town, church, state, country, school, job, a step parent, etc. Accepting the new reality can be tough, but acceptance is what will help you move forward because it means that your acknowledging the new start and are committed to seeing it through.

Now just because your starting over doesn’t mean you have to do a full entire reset of your life. If you are moving away, that doesn’t mean you have to cut all contact with your current friends. If you want to change your behavior into something better, that is a new beginning. People that you are close to you don’t have to go away just because you need a fresh start. Some people will be apart of your life forever and some won’t.

Taking a chance on someone or something can be nerve-racking. A new start is no exception. There are some people who take that leap of faith and it pays off for them. They can adjust to the new setting, new style of life and thrive on it. You can as well. Having people back you up and supporting you makes taking that chance easier. If you strongly believe in yourself and tell yourself you can do it, things tend to work out for you.

Breaking away from old habits and current routines can be frightening, but there a sense of freedom and relief that can come out of it. On the one hand, your not tethered to anything. You have a blank slate in front of you to start over metaphorically. You start over the way you want to. This way of thinking can make the unknown factor less scary. Now there will be tough times and challenges, but don’t let them stop you. Keep going, remember you wanted a fresh start so that things would be different and better. Let that fuel your drive to keep going.

Final Thoughts and Sum Up

New beginnings can be scary at first glance, but they can be good for us. A fresh start can be helpful in leaving behind an old style of life that may have been destructive and transition into one that is healthy and rejuvenating. Remember to go at your own pace. Don’t think you have to rush the process because you think you have to or someone tells you to (this may not fully apply to school and the workplace). If you take a small step each day, that is good. One thing to remember it’s never too late to start from the beginning.

The Transitions of Life are Real

When we are born, we start out as infants.  We grow up and become children.  We go to school and move up from grade to grade.  Then we become teenagers.  Next we become an adult and grow old.  During those times, we get a job, a new job, fall in love, go to college, get divorced, start a business, deal with the passing of someone, meet various people, have children, move away, etc.  All of these things and many more are transitions that happen to us in our lifetime.  These transitions can be smooth, but they can also be rough.

I have had small periods and long periods of transitions in my life.  Your not alone in dealing with tough transitions that happen to you.  Transitions in life are chapters that make up the story of you life.  When one ends, another one is usually around the corner.  These transitions can be difficult and rough for us. 

For example, someone who graduates high school and moves out of the house and goes away to college is dealing with a big transition that can have multiple parts in it.  One they are moving out and are going to be living on their own.  That can be scary for people because they may not be prepared to take care of themselves health wise and even financially.  The life skills and knowledge one acquires during their life can have a huge impact on how they will be able to live on their own and deal with real world things.

Second, going to college is a transition where one acquires desired knowledge and skills, takes on more responsibility, and where one’s discipline is tested and grows.  You have to wake up, get ready, and go to class.  You may not have someone to wake you up.  The professors may not care that you are in class.  You miss an assignment, handouts, lecture notes, even a test, it’s up to you to get them and make it up.  Some professors may help, but that’s not a guarantee.

We can get caught up in the emotions that come with these transitions that they can help us move forward, but they can also cause us stress.  We grow and we can change with each transition.  The transformation process that takes place can may us think of the unknown.  We don’t know what we will become of us during and after the next transition which can scares us sometimes.

Transitions can last for short periods, but they can last for long periods as well.  An adjustment phase takes place and as you begin to get familiar with what’s around you, you feel more comfortable.  Long periods of transition can be tough since, what I call the unknown factor, can make things frightening.  Your environment is a big factor during a transition.  This can include meeting the new people in it, the atmosphere of the place, and how we will be affected by it.  

If you are having trouble dealing with a current life transitions or have had trouble with them in the past, here are some tips to help you with your next one: 

1. Learn to Accept the Change

A transition in life is a change.  When it comes to change, we can have trouble accepting it and adapting into it.  We can fight it, but there are some transitions that happen that are out of control.  The first thing to do is to acknowledge it.  Then we ask ourselves if this is something we can stop.  If we can, we stop it.  If we can’t stop it, then we have to adapt into it.  Continuing to fight the change can cause stress and increased levels of anxiety.  

2. Patience is Helpful

Long transitions of life can be a transformative process that don’t happen overnight or even sometimes within the week.  In a previous post, I mentioned leaving our comfort zone can be unsettling.  Transitions take time, so being patient with ourselves is what we can do.  We can be hard on ourselves for not adapting quickly into a new role or with the event itself which can be discouraging.  We have to take things one day at a time and not expect to handle it or learn it all in one day, a week, or even a month.  This advice may not be the best if you landed a new job and need to be able to adjust and learn things quickly, but that is what the job interview is for; to figure out what all is expected of you and learn if the job really is a good fit for you.

3. Change the Way You Think About the Transition

Stressvision is where your mind imagines that the worst is happening or will happen when in reality that isn’t the case.  If we head into a life transition with a negative perspective, it will make the adjustment and transformative process harder to deal with it.  Make up a list of the positive things that can come about from this transition.  Recite them everyday, write them down and have them with you at all times.  

Transitions aren’t always clear, this can be called transition fog.  Here is a video of how to navigate through that transition fog from Brenda Kline Reynolds.  She is a business and change management consultant who talks about how to manage the changes that occur with life transitions.

Life transitions have affect on our feelings and emotions.  We can feel happy and joyful about them, but we also can be frighten and doubtful about them as well.  Some people thrive on the new experiences whereas some struggle with them.  If you are struggling with them, that’s ok, your not the only one.  Don’t put yourself down or beat yourself up over this change.  Give yourself a break every now and then as you acclimate into the next chapter in your life.  If you take one step each day, then your doing good; even a little bit is ok.  Remember, if you are having trouble with these transitions in any shape or form, there is someone else having trouble with them as well even the same ones your dealing with.