New Year’s Resolutions Yay or Nay?

I hope everyone had a terrific Christmas.  I hope you got to spend time with your family, relatives, and friends.  2019 coming to an end and 2020 is right around the corner.  As the year comes to an end, we say we will make changes to our life.  We set goals that we want to accomplish the next year that we call New Year resolutions.  In the end, some follow through with their New Year’s resolutions and some don’t.

At the end of the year, we begin to set goals that we want to accomplish, things we want to stop doing and saying, or things we want to get better at.  When the new year comes, we have the motivation to start these goals, but sometimes what happens by the end of the first week, two weeks, or month, we lose the motivation.  If you think your the only one who has stuck with their New Year’s resolutions or has fallen off the wagon, your wrong.

Your not alone when it comes to making New Year’s resolutions and not sticking with them.  Maybe there was one year where you made some goals and accomplished them the following year.  Another year you made some more goals, but you couldn’t follow through with them.  That’s fine; what’s important is that you learn why you couldn’t stick with those resolutions.

Maybe you had unwanted baggage that was draining your energy.  Maybe you were at a place in your life that you weren’t ready to take that next step.  Overall, maybe the timing wasn’t right.  Unexpected things happen that are out of our control, there may be things that we have to overcome first before we can move forward.  The fear of the unknown could be stopping us from taking that leap of faith.  It wouldn’t be surprising if we bit off my than we could chew, I know I have, so your not alone in that.

Well as 2019 comes to an end, it’s that time again when people are making those New Year’s resolutions.  If you have stuck with your New Year’s resolutions in the past, awesome keep doing what your doing.  If you haven’t or struggled here are some pointers that may help you:

1. Don’t Just Set Regular Goals
It’s easy to set a goal for yourself.  Anyone can set goals.  The question is are you setting realistic achievable goals?  I have talked about setting realistic goals once before.  You have to know what your capable of accomplishing.  You have to know how far your able to push your limits.  You have to be honest and true with yourself.

2. The Time Frame is Important

Setting a time frame is essential as well.  When do you want to accomplish these goals?  3 months, 6 months, 8 months?  The shorter the timeline, the more energy you’re going to have to put out.  If it’s a new thing, you may want to pace yourself and give yourself more time.  You may have a year long goal that will require to be patient with yourself and pace yourself in a respectable manner.  Before you begin, ask yourself this, ‘are you going to run a sprint or a marathon?’

3. Accountability

Setting New Year’s resolutions is something that you want to hold accountable to yourself.  Ask a family member or a trusted friend to hold you accountable with your resolutions as well.  Ask a few people if you want.  Should you start to fall off the wagon, this individual or these individuals can help you get back on track and stay on track.

4. Don’t Give Up

Staying committed to anything takes effort and energy.  You unfortunately will encounter rough patches.  These times can drain you and giving up begins to seem like a good idea. It’s during these times that you we’ll have to push yourself.  You can ask someone for help.  This could be whether you need to vent and let out your frustrations or you need a pep talk for energy and motivation.  Treat yourself to something nice to rejuvenate and replenish yourself.

5. Break Them Down

Committing to your New Year’s resolutions can be overwhelming especially if you’re thinking big.  There are things out there that look overwhelming, but when you break them down they aren’t as scary.  They actually can turn out to be very manageable for you.  Know what the full picture is, but take each day one at a time.  Breaking down the overwhelming huge intimidating thing into smaller manageable things is less scary.  Live in the present.  That kind of perspective doesn’t look as overwhelming.

New Year’s resolutions can be a hit or miss.  It all comes down to how you deal with them.  Trying to better yourself, expanding your horizon, and experiencing new things requires change, time, and effort.  Yeah change can be scary, but it helps us grow as a person.  I hope whatever New Year’s resolutions you make, I wish you the best of luck with them.  Hopefully this helps you.  You have my support.  I believe in you.

Did You Happen to Fail at Something, Try Again

We’ve all had it happen to us.  We try something and we fail at it.  I have experienced this many times in my life and that means you aren’t the only one who has experienced this.  Well that means we should give up and never try again right?  Nope you’re wrong about that.  

Some people have a knack for things and those things come easily for them.  It’s all right if that isn’t you all the time.  You have a knack for things that another person doesn’t.  That person could be your friend, family member, or the person right next to you.  Trial and error is a concept that everyone faces in life in some way shape or form.  We deal with it especially when we try something new for the first time.  However, we don’t always get it the first time.  I know that’s the case for me.   

When we fail at something, it can be easy to fall victim to the negativity and stress.  We tend to look down on ourselves and lower our entire self-esteem over this one failure big or small.  What we have to do is pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off, and try again. For example, say you are learning how to shoot a bow, you have taken the lessons and you are trying to hit the bull-eyes, but you keep missing.  You have two options at this point, give up or pick up your arrows and try again.  Maybe it takes you over a 100 tries and a couple of hours, but with persistence you finally hit that bulls-eye.  Your not a failure for it taking this long because, despite the attempts and time, you eventually hit it.

Starting or trying something new takes time and practice to get good at it.  Were not perfect, if we were then this concept wouldn’t exist.  If you try something new and still can’t get it, stay with it, but let it consume you to the point where you stop taking care of yourself.  Don’t skip meals or sleep; your body needs these things for energy and concentration.

Here are some tips that can help you better understand this concept as well as prevent you from succumbing to the negativity:

1. Ask For Help 

We all need it time and time again.  We try something, we fail, we try again but with a twist the next time.  Asking for help with something we are struggling with doesn’t mean we are failures; it means we are being smart.  Say we get help with our math homework for a month, we aren’t giving up on trying to learn something new, we are still trying, were just doing it differently.  The goal is to do the homework ourselves and get a good grade on it.  So if we need a tutor or help from the teacher for a month until we understand it, then so be it.  

2. Take Time to Relax and Get Your Energy Back

Trial and error takes up time, but also energy, physically and mentally.  Trying over and over can lead to burnout if you don’t give yourself a break to recover.  Step away for an hour, a couple hours, maybe a day depending on what you have going on.  Don’t neglect people or other important things just because you want to get good at something.  Getting your energy back and getting the right mindset to tackle something again still isn’t giving up because you are still coming back to it.

3. Talk with Someone

Frustration and sometimes sadness can build up from many failed attempts of trial and error.  Besides taking time for yourself, it can be helpful to talk things out with a friend, parent, sibling, someone who you know will listen.  You could be stuck on something and a different viewpoint and insight can be helpful and bring you the clarity that you need. You may not get a solution, maybe you just need to vent which can be relieving.  If you do vent, just make sure it’s to someone who won’t feel offended or hurt by you.  It can be helpful to have someone help you look at things in another way.  

4. Is it Really Important?

What I have had to ask myself is ‘what I’m trying to accomplish, is it really important?’  I have answered yes and no.  When I answered yes, I asked myself what the benefits to learning this new thing will bring me.  I could come up with a small list for short-term goals and long-term goals.  When I answered no, I had to stop and reevaluate.  Is learning this new skill, technique, or thing going to enrich me or not?  If you have tried to learn something new and it’s not working and it’s costing you time away from schoolwork, hurting your job performance, neglecting friends, family, your health, or breaking promises to others, you might need to stop and walk away.  The idea is that you don’t give up and keep trying, however remember to be smart and use common sense.  If the consequences are greatly outweighing the benefits, then it wouldn’t be worth it.    

5. Set Realistic Goals

You fail and keep trying again, set a goal or goals to provide structure and motivation.  Are the goals short or long, well you have to decide.  Do you want success in whatever it is by the end of the week, month, year?  Setting goals can provide the energy and motivation you need to keep going and keep trying at what you are trying to accomplish. When setting these goals make sure you can achieve them.  For example, wanting to become a pro soccer player by the end of the week will require more time than seven days.  Learning how to hit a golf ball straight regardless of distance by the end of the week sounds more achievable.

Giving up is the easy thing to do and these days we tend to look for the easy way out.  During these tough times is where we have to dig deep and persevere.  We are capable of accomplishing anything if we are determined and put in the hard work and time.  If you continue to fail at what your working on, keep in mind that you are not a failure.  We tend to let the stress and frustration get to us and begin listening to the lies it can tell us.