Video Discussion: 7 Things You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty For

Hi there everyone, I hope you all are doing all right.  There are a number of things that we can feel guilty about.  This video focuses on 7 different things that we feel guilty about and how they can influence different aspects of our life.

The feeling of guilt can lead to feelings of inadequacy, unwanted anxiety, and perfectionism. This then leads to high levels of stress and overcompensating on every thing you.

Your not alone if you have felt guilty about doing something for yourself. We are allowed to have hobbies, personal interests, and we are allowed to invest our time and energy into them. I have felt this way, your parents, best friends, teachers, co-workers, boss, significant other, family members, etc have all felt this kind of guilt before.

Feeling Guilty for Feeling Happy

At some point, we have felt guilty about something.  We feel bad for hurting someone’s feelings, not doing something we should have, and for doing something that makes us happy.  Yes feeling guilty about being happy is a real thing. 

We feel guilty of being happy for doing things we enjoy because our brains can translate that into being selfish and self-centered.  We feel we should be doing something for everyone in our lives and helping them with their problems.  Yes this is something we do, but we also need to take time for ourselves. 

We need to rest and recharge ourselves.  We also need to invest our time and energy doing things that bring us joy.  That isn’t being selfish, that’s taking care of ourselves. This video goes into more details.

Wrap Up

Not being perfect, asking for help, being successful, saying no when you need to, removing yourself from toxic situations or people, ending toxic relationships, and wanting to be happy are only 7 things we shouldn’t feel guilty about. There are various other things as well. Our self-worth, esteem, and inner peace are very special and important to our well-being. Yes we do want to please and help others, but we also shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed that we want to take time for ourselves.

I hope this video shined some light on your life. Hopefully you got some clarity and some bettee guidance in your life. Maybe some heavy stress and anxiety just got lifted from your shoulders and mind. Maybe now you can breathe better too.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Video Time: Create a Happy and Healthy Work Environment

Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2021 is going well for you all. If you made some goals and resolutions for this year, I hope they’re going well.

So this post contains three videos of how to create a healthy and happier work environment. For those who have a job, the work environment can be tough, challenging, and toxic at times. However, there are things you can do to make things better for yourself even for those in management. Those of you who don’t work, this may not be for you, but it can give you a bit of an insight into what goes on in the work environment.

These videos go into detail about things you can do to your own personal work area to better your mood, how communication and team building exercises improve morale, how having a happier mood can spark more of your creative outlets, and more.

Below is a pic of more ways that elaborate what’s in the videos.

Here’s to a new year. I hope it’s better for you all. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Trying to Fit in? Well Should You Even Try?

Why fit in when you were born to stand out

Dr Seuss

All right, new questions. Have you ever been in a situation where there were a group of people doing something fun and you felt like you should be apart of it? Were there some people talking about your favorite sports team and you wanted to be part of that conversation? Did someone tell you that you should do something because it would make you happy and everyone else is doing it? You’re not alone if you said yes to any of these questions. I’ve been in these kind of situations myself, wanting to fit in with a group of people. With that said, is it always best to be a part of and follow the herd?

Why Do We Feel That Need to Fit in?

As we grow up, whether we get taught this or learn about it ourselves, we don’t want to feel or be alone. Peer pressure comes into the picture and that can increase our stress levels. Our stress vision starts playing out scenarios in our mind of the worst possible outcomes. The idea of feeling or being alone can become a life-or-death concept. This can cause us to join a group of people that are not right for us. We may or may not know that they’re not right for us, but we join them because we don’t want to feel or be alone. We want to follow and be part of the herd. In our minds, we may think that it’s easier to follow the herd than be our own person.

Fear of Standing Out

We believe that following the herd makes us like everyone else, we’re not the odd person out, plus we’re happy. We believe that if we’re not doing what everyone else is doing that were weird, not cool, and sometimes we get made fun of. Standing out in the crowd can put the spotlight on you and people may be focused on everything you do because you’re not doing what everyone else is doing. You may have a fear of not doing what you love and enjoy because people will make fun of you and bully you because no one else is doing that. You may be afraid to stand out because you may not know how to hold your own. What I mean by this is that you may not know who you are as a person and have trouble staying true to your morals and values. Maybe you don’t know what your morals and values are yet. We may know the answer to a question our teacher asks us, but we don’t raise our hand to answer because no one else is and we don’t want to look like we’re smart.

With all that said, here are some ways you can stand out in the crowd and be your own person:

Find your passion is one way to stand out among people. When your doing what your passionate about, you feel a great sense of comfort and security. Your confidence goes up and you don’t think about fitting in with people, you don’t feel embarrassed or nervous about doing your own thing. Being involved in what you’re passionate about makes you happy and even empowered.

Be original to the people around you. Talk to them normally. You don’t need to use accents if you don’t have one or talk differently. If you’re someone who doesn’t use foul language, don’t change the way you talk just because everyone else is talking like that. If you’re not a big talker, that’s fine. Maybe you don’t talk that much, but when you do talk, you say something that is worth listening to. The right kind of people will like you for who you are and not pretending to be.

Talk to people who do there own thing and not worry about what everyone else is doing. If you have friends or family who can be there own person, ask them for advice about how you can do that. They may have been in the same predicament you’re in right now. Now what worked for this person may not work for you, but at least you have options to try. What makes someone happy may not make you happy. Remember follow your path.

Appreciate who you are. In a previous post, I mentioned that there is only one of you in this world which makes you special. Appreciating yourself can be great for your overall well-being. It helps you be physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy. In some cases this is easier said than done, but keeping focusing and figuring out your strengths, heal if you need to, and begin to accept your flaws.

Wrap up

Trying to fit in with a group of people is something we do as humans. We are wired with a sense of belonging that can go into overdrive if the need is not met. By not following the herd, yes we may encounter problems and ridicule, but by staying true to who we are, we find happiness, satisfaction, and peace of mind. Introverted and extraverted people both encounter this issue. Now if we are part of group of people and fit in with them, that’s great. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be part of a group; what I am saying is we should be able to be our own unique self as well.

You Can Learn to Smile Again

Everybody needs someone who can make them laugh when they think they’ll never smile again.

One of the things we do a lot when we’re a baby is smile. As we grow up, we begin smile just to smile. As we get even older, we also smile for different reasons. Those reasons include meeting new people, going on trips, playing video games, trying new foods, spending time with our children, parents, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, watching a new movie, getting a gift, spending time in nature etc. There are so many reasons for us to smile. However, different things will happen to us that will cause us to frown and be sad. Those things can be so tough to deal with that as time goes on we forget how to smile. Even after the dark clouds pass, we still may not still be smiling even if good things are happening to and around us.

Why Am I Having Trouble Smiling?

You would think that smiling is something that all of us can do with no effort right? Well unfortunately that’s not the case. We get hurt by different people in our lives. Could a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, co-worker, student, friends, etc. If your having trouble smiling after something bad that happened to you, your most definitely not alone. There are so many people who are in the same predicament. I myself have been in that spot numerous times. I bet there are people in your life who are having trouble smiling after something bad happened to them as well. Even embarrassment and humiliation can make us frown especially if it’s from friends and family. The hurt can be sudden and long lasting to different degrees. The more people who are involved in hurting you, the worse you can feel. Some people will hurt you without a reason which, in my opinion, is worse than knowing the reason. The closer you are to someone, the hurt is worse because you developed a strong bond with them and you trusted them. You may have told this person or people some personal things about you that you wouldn’t have told anyone else; maybe not even your parents.

Going through this kind of emotional pain can stop us from smiling. The pain of losing a pet or someone can stop you from smiling too. It’s ok to be sad during these times. Sadness is not a sign of weakness. This emotion can help us grow as a person which can help us move forward and find happiness again. As I mentioned, after the dark clouds from the storm have passed, we may still find it hard to smile. We can still be grieving from the loss and the hurt which makes it hard to smile. Emotional pain from people we trust, we care for, we love, can stick around longer than getting hurt by someone we barely know or a stranger. Losing a pet we have had for years and helped us through tough times can be really tough to deal with. If you think you can’t bounce back from sadness to happiness in a day for example, that’s fine. Getting hurt by someone or someone passing away takes time to deal with. Afterwards, you may have forgotten how to smile. Don’t feel embarrassed if you have to re-teach yourself how to smile.

Here’s some ways to help you smile again if your having trouble and need to relearn how to:

  • Be around the right person or people
  • Watch something that will make you laugh
  • Do things you enjoy
  • Meditate
  • Pray
  • Read something inspirational
  • Laugh at yourself
  • Get get reacquainted with yourself

Discussion

Surround yourself with people who love and respect you. Kindness is a powerful trait people can give you. You can also give it to someone as well, remember that. These people will be there for you when you need them. I know a friend who makes me smile just by being herself. Her personality cheers me up. I’m sure there are people in your life who are like that.

Watching a movie, TV show, a video on the internet of something funny can cheer you up. Maybe it’s a funny scene from your favorite movie, a funny Tik Tok video, only you know. They say laughter is the best medicine. I’m sure there’s people in your life that can make you laugh. Another option would be to try laughing at yourself. I’m sure there’s things that you do the you can find the humor in. Maybe these things are something you do on a daily basis when you’re at work, school, or in public, with friends, family. Even if it’s something small, chuckling at yourself can help turn that frown upside down.

I’m sure you have a hobby and things you like to do with others or by yourself. Doing these things brings some kind of joy to you. I mentioned in a previous post that you should do what you can to create your own joy. If being around others isn’t an option, which is probably true due to the lockdown in quarantines in the world, do something you know you will like and bring you happiness no matter what is going on.

Meditation can help clear your mind and slow down your thoughts. A clear mind can help free you from unwanted stress that may have come from being hurt by someone or some other problem your having. Praying, for those of you who are religious and spiritual, can be helpful. Talking to God and praying for yourself and others you care about can help bring guidance, peace of mind, and clarity which can lead to happiness, which can lead to smiling again.

I have found reading inspirational quotes to be helpful in smiling again. Some of the quotes I have been reading have described different things and problems I have dealt with in the past and recently. They help me feel that I’m not alone and that I can get through my troubles and it’s ok to not have everything together. These quotes have helped me get reacquainted with myself. Slowing down and taking a break from things to spend time with yourself can help you figure out how you think about things, your likes and dislikes, your morals and values, the next path you should take in your life, clarity on the path you already are on, and who are your true friends in life. Figuring some things out about yourself can take unwanted stress, toxic thoughts, and lies away and help you smile.

Final Thoughts and Sum Up

It is possible to smile again after being hurt, losing someone, or going through a tough time in your life. If you’ve got good friends, family, good health, be grateful for that and that can help you smile again. I found spending time in nature and appreciating its beauty brings a smile to my face; maybe it could do the same for you. Try writing down your thoughts and see if that clears your mind and helps you smile. You would think that one simple gesture would be easy to do and yet it’s a real tough challenge for people to pull off.

Combating What Others Think of You

What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.

Deepak Chopra

At some point or another, we have thought about what other people have thought of us. We wonder if they really like us as a friend or something more, what they think of our clothes, or if they think were weird or cool. There are so many things that we think about when it comes to what other people think about us. It can cause us to experience a whirlwind of emotions that can bring us down and drive us a little crazy. I have been in this predicament dozens of times myself. Your definitely not alone. It happens to everyone. The key is not letting this idea rule our lives.

Why Do We Care About What Others Think of Us

It’s just something that happens to us as we grow up. As we begin to think more critically, we begin to figure out who we are as a person. We begin to have more in depth conversations with people. People are able to develop more opinions about themselves, life, places, and other people. As time goes on, those opinions get challenged by others and what you think isn’t the way someone else thinks. You then start to think about what the other person thinks of you.

Acceptance

You could be in a place where you want to be accepted by someone or a particular group of people. You believe that if they accept you, you will feel better about yourself and always be happy. You also think that you will feel horrible and sad if they don’t accept you into the group. At this point, your putting the control of your happiness in other people’s hands. Going back to acceptance, you may believe that your not fully accepted by your family or friends for who you are; so you may go to great lengths to find out what you can do to be accepted by them even if it goes against your character, your personality, your morals and values.

Sense of Belonging

We have a need to feel like we belong somewhere. We seek to find our place in the world. We try different things and go through trial and error to find where we feel comfortable and where we can thrive at. During the process, we encounter people who seem like they have it all together. We want to have what they have and we think that we won’t be able to befriend them if we’re not on their level. We may let the stress get the better of us and think that the other person will look down on us for being where we are at in our life. We also may think that they will judge us for the job we have, the grades we get in school, how we dress, if we have any tattoos or piercings, how social we are with others, even our age, height, weight, gender, and ethnicity. We may do or get things that we don’t like or find appealing just to feel like we belong somewhere and not get looked down upon.

Here are some ways to stop caring about what other people think of you:

  • Find what makes you happy
  • Age and maturity
  • Boost your self-esteem
  • Stay true to yourself
  • Try not to please others
  • Don’t overthink
  • Life is too short, live in the moment
  • Desensitize your triggers

If you find what makes you happy, you will be in a place where you feel satisfied and relaxed. In this state of mind, you won’t care about what others think of you because you’re already happy and feel no need to please anyone.

I learned a long time ago that the older you get the more you tend to not care what other people think. Some of us are worried about being embarrassed in front of others and that we may get a bad reputation or be seen as a weirdo or outcast. Being embarrassed only means were human and it happens to all of us.

If your self-esteem is up, your confidence will be up. If your confidence is up, you feel more of a sense of satisfaction especially around people. You won’t feel a need to think about what other people think of you sense you already feel good.

It’s important to stay true to yourself. There is only one of you in this world. Don’t sacrifice your morals and values just to please other people. Your family and real friends will like you for who are. Pleasing others can lead to getting unwanted stress and you may not get the respect of the other person or people in the end.

You can find yourself overthinking about everything which can drive you nuts. You can even find yourself overthinking about what others think about you which, in my opinion, is worse. There are things out there that come to you that are face value. There are people out there who will be honest and tell you the truth up front. Those are the people you can trust. Not everyone out there is out to get you.

Another way to stop thinking about what others think about you is to desensitize your triggers. What I mean by that is what are the things that cause you to start thinking this way. Do you believe that the other person isn’t being honest with you? Did you overhear something and now you don’t know what to do with that information? The challenge is to catch yourself before this kind of thinking begins. What I have found helpful is to pay attention to your emotions. If you begin to get emotional and your anxiety spikes up, then maybe you found a trigger.

Final Thoughts and Sum Up

Life is too short to be constantly caring about what other people think about you. Easier said than done I know. It’s taken me some time to just let things go and move forward with my life. Focusing and living in the present is where you can find peace, enjoy good times, and make memories. The right people will come along in your life and you won’t have to be heavily concerned about what they think about you because they will accept you for who you are.