Openess

Change = Growth…True

/ jmfelicjan

Have you ever gotten so comfortable with something that you didn’t want to it to change, but it did? Have you developed a routine that you got so used to that you did it every day, every other day, then all of sudden something happened and you had to change the way you operate and move things around? Well your not the only one as I myself have had to deal with this dozens of times in my life.

We all experience some kind of change in our life at some point. The change can be very exciting because something new can happen, but change can be scary and difficult because something new can happen. Any kind of change can be described as an upset in your life that can shake your world up, a new beginning, and an opportunity for growth. When we hear the word ‘change’ or the phrase ‘there are going to be some changes around here’ are attention is quickly drawn to whoever said it and our adrenaline peaks up. One of the first things that goes through our minds is that this change is going to be something bad and/or unsettling. Down the road reality can kick in and we find out that things didn’t turn out as bad as we thought or they weren’t bad at all. Sometimes change can be scary, but only if you see it that way.

Change can be an opportunity for growth. As we get older, we need to be able to expand our horizon of interests, skills, and add to preexisting things in our life. It can be easy to get stuck in a rut or routine just out of sheer habit or because you went into survival mode due to something bad that happened to you. The longer your in that rut or routine, any kind of change that happens to you will be bigger and more alarming compared to being in a rut or routine for a short time. Recently, I have been experiencing new things which have helped me grow more as a person. Experiencing new things, meeting new people, and going to new places are opportunities for growth.

In order for people to grow into healthy and functional people, we have to embrace change. Embracing change can help us in several ways. For example:

  • Our confidence builds up
  • Our self-esteem increases
  • Were more open to what people say
  • Were open to try new things in our lives
  • We learn to control our fear (Courage is fear controlled)
  • Expand our knowledge and creativity
  • We become more mature
  • We understand ourselves better

The more we embrace change and see it as an opportunity to grow and learn new things, the easier it becomes to deal with and it’s not as scary. There are people who thrive with change. They want to challenge themselves over and over. Now I’m not saying go full throttle, you have to go at your own pace. Some extroverts (people who are out-going) go full throttle because that’s who they are. Some introverts (people who are more reserved) take things slow. It’s important to stay true to who you are because that is what makes you unique.

Here are some ways you can better embrace change and see it as growth and understand the concept of it:

1. Learn and Experience Something New

To elaborate more on this idea, change can be scary, but look past the fear and see change as to better yourself. As you learn something new or experience something new you may get clarity on something you have been trying to figure out. You can connect with someone better because you both shared the same experience.

2. Look Past the Fear

Change has a way of setting off our alarm that something we may not be able to control is going to happen whether we caused it or not. We get scared and sometimes avoid the change entirely. Well we can’t always do that. Change can be scary if we see it that way. Positive self-talk can be helpful because it helps us to see what we can benefit from the change, ignore the fear, and gain the confidence to move forward. We break it down and see it for what it really is. Again, we need to look past the fear and see the benefits and opportunities for growth.

3. Change Happens at Different Times for Everyone

Change can be right in front of you, but maybe not for those around you. If there is some kind of change that is happening to you, but not your friends, family, co-workers, or those around you, don’t ignore it. Change happens at different times for everyone. You may go through a change now, but one day your friends or family members will go through a change and you won’t. Just be supportive toward them as you would want the same thing yourself.

4. Change can Lead to Openness

Change can lead to growth, but it can also lead to being more open to new things. As you grow, you expand your interests which can lead to embracing new opportunities and learning new things to expand your knowledge. You can become more open to hearing other people’s ideas and opinions. You get to see other peoples perspectives which does lead to connecting with someone and improving existing relationships.

5. Change can Increase Creativity and Curiosity

When you open up to change, your curiosity goes up. You begin to want to learn why things are the way they are? You may get curious about someone’s life story or the origins of something. This can lead to your creativity increasing because you’re open to new ideas which can spark ideas of your own.

Here is a video about change is growth from Nik Miller who is a veteran who served in the Marines and became a US Para-canoe representative. Here he talks about how he viewed change as a way to grow and to challenge himself.

Change is inevitable, but growth is optional. I believe change is the bridge that can lead to growth; it’s up to you if you cross that bridge or not.

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Vulnerability Can Be Good

/ jmfelicjan / 1 Comment

With 2020 being here, I thought about something that I have been working on for some time which is being more open and vulnerable. It’s one thing we have heard or experienced at some point in our lives good and bad. When some hear this word, they may make anxious, nervous, or just scared. Sometimes seeing the word can stir our thoughts around and tug at our emotions.

Everyone has their own take on vulnerability. Some will say that it’s good for you while others will say that it means weakness and that its bad. When it comes to being very open with anyone, that can be a risky move because your sharing a very personal maybe sentimental experience or information with someone. Your opening up your heart to someone in the hopes that you will build a stronger connection and bond with this person. You also hope that they will not take advantage of you and not tell other people what you told them. Overall your trust toward the other person or people will be tested.

Being vulnerable is risky because in a way your giving a personal piece of yourself as an individual to someone. This someone can abuse and betray you which is no good and can lead to great pain. The trust you had with the other person or people is broken and may not be fixable. Forgive and forget right? Well not always; it all depends what was shared. If you told a close friend who have known for years a secret, you would expect them to not tell anyone else. If the person chooses to not tell anyone else, your trust builds with this person and you grow a bit closer to them.

Vulnerability can also means sympathizing with someone when they open up to you. For example, if someone shares an experience with you that was hurtful, you would want to sympathize with them because they are a friend or family member. Sympathizing with someone who opens up to you builds trust, strengthens bonds, and you make a deeper connection with someone.

Bring vulnerable with someone can be scary even sometimes when you know the other person so well. A girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, best friend are a few examples of individuals who you believe that you can trust. Openness and honesty are core traits that most people have. These two traits can also be the driving force for wanting to be vulnerable. Not everyone can vulnerable especially on command. It takes some effort to do so because your trying to figure out how you will say what you need to say and when will it take place.

Maybe you were vulnerable at one point and the experience was bad. You decide to put up a wall in your mind toward that person or people who did you wrong. You may even go out of your way to avoid them or keep them at arms length. If you want to be more vulnerable and if you want to be more open and honest, as well as here are some tips you can try:

1. Your Not Alone

If you think you are the only person who is struggling to be more open and honest with people, think again. You definitely aren’t the only one who has trouble being vulnerable. There are people who we can be open and honest with. They can be family members, close friends, or trusted teachers. You will be able to figure out who these people are from how they have treated you in the past, how long you have known them, and how close you are to them.

2. Be Careful Who You Open Up To

I want to emphasize this a bit. Being open and vulnerable is a great way to build a better connection with someone, it also involves some risk. You are, in some way, giving a piece of yourself to another person. That person can do whatever they want with that information. They could keep it to themselves or betray your trust and take advantage of you by telling other people and hurt your feelings. I would suggest that you be open and vulnerable to those real close to you. You also may be hesitant to confide in these people as well and that is a normal response. Like I said being vulnerable can be risky.

3. Share Information Your Ready to Share

We have that little voice in our head that helps us figure out what it is right and what is wrong. That voice can be helpful in deciding whether we’re ready to share something very personal to another person and be open and honest with them. Now this doesn’t mean sharing your whole personal life story with someone, but a piece of it. For example, if you have been struggling with something and you’ve been keeping it to yourself maybe this is what you want to open up and share to others. I have been in this position myself.

4. Trust Yourself

The one thing that could stop you from opening up and being vulnerable is not so much who you want to open up to, but yourself. You may be concerned about the outcome and if you can handle it or not. Think back to other situations that were tough for you, but you got through them. What did you do to get through those tough times? Did you think the outcome was going to be horrible at first, but it turned out to be fine? Did you have a support system? That little voice in your head may be telling you that this one friend or family member is someone who I can share this thing with rather than this one friend.

5. Your Worthy

The outcome and the response you get from opening up and being vulnerable is probably the thing going on your mind. You’re concerned that the response you get is going to be positive or negative. Being vulnerable involves strength, so you tell yourself that you are worthy of a positive response. If you are someone who cares about others, doesn’t cause trouble, and doesn’t put people down then I believe you are worthy of a positive outcome.

Sometimes you have to take risks in life. There are opportunities in your life that you can be open and vulnerable with someone or even a group of people. One thing to keep in mind is that the people who pay attention to you may be in a similar place you are. Your courage to be open and vulnerable may inspire them to do the same thing. I’ve seen it happen and I have also experienced it myself. Trust your instincts.