Video Time: Toxic Productivity

Hey guys, this topic has been on my mind for some time. I wasn’t sure how to approach it until now. Below is a link to 2 videos that talk about how doing too much and working a lot isn’t the best for your mental health.

The first video is from psychologist Dr. Julie Smith. Though her video talks about toxic productivity during Covid lockdown, the information is still relevant today. The second video is from Clement Mihailescu the CEO and Co-founder of AlgoExpert. He talks about his own experience with toxic productivity and what has helped him find balance with work and self-care.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

A Little Self-Care for Yourself

Here is something new that I want to try. Instead of just a big post, I want to post just videos every now and then that relate to something I talked about in the past and topics that I might want to discuss at a later date. I’m still working on a few new things I want to add.

The video is about treating yourself with care like you would a friend.

I hope you all stay safe and take care of yourselves.

Your Scars…The Ones Others Can’t See

Experience is a great teacher; unfortunately, experience leaves mental scars, and scar tissue contracts.

William James Mayo

I hope everyone had a great Easter and was able to make the best out of it. Hopefully if you were in any of the areas where some tornadoes struck, I hope that your all right and your friends and loved ones are all right. If you or anyone you know was injured, I hope you have a speedy recovery. Injuries heal with time. The are injuries that will heal and it will be like the injury was never there. Sometimes there will be injuries that will leave a scar. It might be a noticeable scar and it might not be. Those are just physical scars though. There are those scars that no one sees or knows about except you. Maybe a few select number of people know about them or maybe everyone in your circle of friends and loved ones know. There are people out there who have more mental and emotional scars then they do physical ones. Your not the only person who is like this. I also have more mental scars and emotional scars than physical ones. Your not alone.

The View on Scars

Scars over the course of history have been seen as an imperfection, a symbol of weakness, guilt, shame, and mistakes we have made for example. We do things to cover them up and act like they aren’t there. People will go to great lengths hide them. This isn’t just physical scars, but also the mental and emotional ones as well. We get the idea in our head that we need to be perfect for this situation, perfect to be friends with this person, perfect in our marriage, relationship, and to our parents. So we interpret scars as being a bad and negative thing. We also try to hide our scars with an “I’m fine”. As time goes on, we can get better at saying that and meaning it. Yet the scars are still there and they still may be bleeding metaphorically. Outside we look happy and all right, but on the inside we are hurting. We’re afraid to say something to anyone even our friends and loved ones or especially them. We don’t them to see us as someone who is damaged and broken. So we close ourselves up and put walls around us as another way of hiding our scars. These are some of the things we do as a way of not being vulnerable to others. If we are hurting, we fear that will be hurt again, so we do different things as a way of not getting hurt again.

Here it’s some advice on how to deal with your scars:

  • Your scars don’t make you less of a person. Some people have more scars than others, but that doesn’t mean that these people are weaker. Some people go through tough experiences in their life, sometimes one after another where some people don’t. The ones with more scars may have more life experience to offer to others. These people who go through rough times and come out on top have great mental strength.
  • Embrace your scars because even though they represent a hurtful or rough time of your life, they show that you survived defeats in your life. They show that you’re one of a kind. This reinforces the idea that you are unique in this world.
  • Your scars can also be seen as lessons you learned in life. These lessons are most of the time tough lessons. They show that you fought when you could have given up. You went through a tough experience, but you got a great life lesson out of it and that’s a plus.
  • A scar could have also have come from a lie you were told that took root and maybe you didn’t realize it. You first have to find that lie. Then see if anything in your life supports it. If you can’t find anything, then you have to work on dismissing it. These kind of scars can take time to work through because maybe you believed in it for an extended period of time and you have to train your mind to not think like negative anymore.

Here is a video of a young woman named Shayla. In this video she talks about overcoming her mental scars in regards to her skin and learning to love herself through acceptance.

Wrapping Up

None of your scars make you less worthy or lovable. Your scars make you who you are. You can say that you are alive. When it comes to embracing your scars there is a period of acceptance that you have to go through which can take time. When your done, you can hold your head up high and not feel ashamed of that scar anymore. Hopefully this brings some clarity some scars you have, scars you’re working through, and you can begin to not feel ashamed of them and embrace them.

The Transition From High School to College

Graduation is an exciting time. It’s both an ending and a beginning. It’s warm memories of the past and big dreams for the future.

If your about to graduate from high school and are looking to go to college, you probably have a lot going on. You may be checking out different campuses, attending orientations, speaking with different advisors on the phone or in person, filling out applications, getting student loans and scholarships. You probably have a lot on your plate even if you have a job. Well if you have gone through this transition, this post may not be for you. If you are going through this or in the next year or two you will, hopefully this information makes it easier for you and clears some things up. I’ve gone through this transition and it can be draining. There were days that were tougher than others. So don’t think your the only high school student who is struggling with this transition; many other students are as well.

What is this Transition?

The high school to college transition is one the big transitions in your life that you’ll experience. You can say that your making the transition from teenager to adult since this transition mostly involves students who are 17 and 18. There can be a lot of uncertainty of what is going to happen next in your life. The feelings of uncertainty can be greater if you are moving out of home and plan on living in a dorm on the college campus, getting your own apartment, or moving in with friends are a few examples. You get your first taste of what adulthood and the real world are like. You have to take care of yourself like feeding yourself, washing your clothes, and getting yourself up for class are a few examples. This transition can be scary for some people because you may not know what to do especially if you’re going to be living on your own. You may get advice from your parents, friends, siblings, or teachers about this transition. Getting advice is good since it gives you a sense of direction and clarity, but you have to decide what works best for you.

New Atmosphere and Environment

Any kind of college or university is going to have be a different environment than what you experienced in high school. The atmosphere is going to be different as well. The student body is going to be much much larger, the age range of people is going to be bigger than just 18 year olds and people in their early twenties. You’ll have people in their thirties, forties, fifties, even some who are 15 and 16. The professors still hold you accountable to do the work required, but they won’t be on you like a needle on a cactus to do it. They leave it up to you to do the work and turn it in. They won’t go out if their way to see if you keep up with the assignments. For example, if you don’t turn in an assignment, they will just give you a zero and move on. I guess you can say that they won’t mommy you because it’s not their job. You are able to walk around the campus whenever you want even if you don’t have a class that day. You have the opportunity to be your own person. You can visit the library anytime you want. There is usually a place where students can eat and get together to study, hangout, attend an event, etc. I would suggest checking it out. There are opportunities to join a sorority or fraternity and be close and live with other students. You still have the opportunity to attend various sporting events and getting involved in other clubs and organizations at your school.

Here are some tips that can help you during this transition:

1. Develop Time Management Skills

When it comes to college classes, as I pointed out no one is going to force you to attend them. If you want to do well, you need to attend class on time, do the work assigned, and when there is an exam, be in class that day. Having a planner can be helpful to keep track of when assignments are due, exam dates, appointments, and other responsibilities. Trying to cram everything thing you need to know for an exam the night before might not work out well. Try planning on studying for 2 or 3 days before the exam.

2. Be Ready to Write a Lot

Depending on the classes you take, you will be writing quite a number of essay papers. You’ll be given a topic and you’ll have to develop a thesis for it and then support it with facts. You’ll have to thoroughly explain the topic in specific details. These papers can range from 2 to 3 pages or more. Plan out how much you’re going to write each day so that you’re not scrambling at the last second.

3. Keep Procrastination in Check

When it comes to college work it can be overwhelming. One thing to keep in mind is to not put things off over and over and let that become a habit. If you have a large project to complete, break it down into smaller and more manageable tasks. The large scary project won’t seem that scary when you tackle it one small piece at a time. I can speak from experience. Doing this will allow you to build your confidence. If you have 5 assignments due by the end of the week, plan what days you want to do what assignments. If you have more free time on one day, try and get done two assignments that day. If one day you have a lot of things going on a certain way, you may only have time to complete one assignment or maybe none. Plan accordingly and don’t overwhelm yourself to where you put the assignment off completely.

4. Take Care of Yourself

As I mentioned your parents won’t be there to tell you what to do. So it will be up to you when I go to bed, when does study, do laundry, and when to eat. Poor self-care can result in unnecessary stress that can affect your schoolwork. Exercise can be helpful in staving off stress even if it’s just walking around campus. Getting good sleep and eating right will give you the energy you need to better tackle the college life.

5. Remember to Ask for Help

The high school to college transition as I mentioned can be scary. What would help to clear the confusion and uncertainty is to ask people for help. Talk with one or some of your teachers about it, they went through the transition. Talk to your parents, relatives, a guidance counselor, older siblings, etc. There’s some people in your life that I’ve gone through this transition and they can offer you advice on what worked for them and maybe it will work for you. Ask questions about how to pay for tuition, applying for scholarships, what to do when you’re not in class, study tips, if living on campus are living at home and going to class is better for me, should I be working while going to school, etc.

Final Thoughts and Sum Up

The high school to college transition is a big step and new chapter in your life if you decide to step into it. Yes it could be scary overwhelming confusing, but you’re not the only one that is thinking and experiencing those things. There are people out there who can help you. Your parents and friends even teachers can be there to support and help you. I will say that when going through this transition, take care of yourself. You’re the only you in this world.