The Friends You Can Confide In

Vulnerability, honesty, and trust. Do these words come to mind when you think of your closest friends? Are you able to confide in them about deep and personal things?

Different Types of Friends

So some of you may already know that there are various kinds of friends out there. You have your athletic friends, those who like to party, those who are good listeners, some who are reserved but easy to get along with, and so on. If this sounds like people you know, your not alone. Every person out there has a variety of friends.

Your allowed to have a variety of friends. Whether your a big social person or someone who is more laid back, having different kinds of friends enriches your life. As I’ve mentioned before, having moral support from friends is just as good as having moral support from family.

Confiding in Others

You have friends who you can laugh and have a fun time with, but you can confide in them if you are troubled. Easy right; well not always. Maybe the reality of your situation is that you have dozens of friends who you get along with, but only a few of them are ones you can talk deep stuff with. You may think you are being a burden to them by dumping you troubles onto them especially if you’ve done it before. You may think your damaging the friendship and that eventually you’ll loose them. If you have thought this way before, your not alone. I’ve been there myself.

As I mentioned you may have a variety of friends who you can talk sports with but not books. Then you have people who you can talk urban legends and unexplained events with, but not video games.

Some people only have that one friend who they can go to no matter what happens and have a deep talk, a rant, and even a good cry. This is what I meant about vulnerability, trust, and honesty. These three traits are precious. Not every person can open up, some have trust issues, and some just don’t know how to tell the truth.

There is a deep connection and understanding between people who are vulnerable to one another. You really get to know someone in how they think, how they handle their emotions, and how they view life. They provide you comfort when you feel fragile, confused, hurt, and broken. Sometimes they give you words of encouragement, a hug, a shoulder to cry on, even a listening ear for you to vent. Sounds like I’m repeating myself a bit, but these kind of people will really do these things for you. In reality, these kind of friends are easier to go to and confide in than our own parents. In my opinion, this shouldn’t be a thing, but it is.

Wrap Up

The close friends you can confide in shouldn’t be taken for granted. Some of the worst and toughest moments of your life are made a bit easier to deal with these kind of friends. If you have these kind of friends in your life, you should consider yourself grateful. Your not alone in this world; these kind of friends will remind you of that. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Whose an Approachable Person in Your Life?

Have you ever been around someone and you just get a vibe from them about whether or not you should talk to them or not? Their words say one thing and yet your not sure if you should ask them a question or not. You start thinking ‘should I even be around them though’.

If you have had these thoughts before, your not the only one. I’ve had those thoughts myself. There are people who are cautious about who they talk to. They are also cautious about who they invest their time and energy with.

Why Do People Think This Way?

Shyness, unwanted stress and anxiety, letting insecurities run your life, not knowing how to introduce yourself to others, and fear in general can be factors of why someone will keep to themselves and not talk to someone. These factors can cause someone to think other people are not approachable. If your confused and/or don’t understand something, you don’t ask a question or for help and you just keep it to yourself. However that’s not always the case.

People give off vibes about their personality. This is can be from the way they talk and the way they act around friends, family, and strangers. Some people say things to invite others into their lives like, “If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask”, or “You can call or text me anytime”. Words say one thing, the behavior from the person can say another.

There are people who can pick up on good and bad vibes from others very easily. There are people who you can open up to about anything. There are those you can open up to, but you are still reserved on some deep personal things.

Examples

If you know someone who raises their voice to the point of yelling during a simple conversation and has trouble talking to people, chances are this person isn’t very approachable even if they say you can talk to them anytime you need to. Then you have someone who smiles when they’re around people they know and don’t know. They are being kind and generous to others. When they say things, you can take their word for it. These types of people are approachable to go up to. You can introduce yourself to them and ask them questions easily.

Here’s some tips and ways to approach other people better and how you can become more approachable to others:

  • Be respectful to others and yourself
  • Smile and laugh
  • Take people up on their offer when they say you can ask them anything
  • Use eye contact
  • Take some deep breaths
  • Rehearse your introduction to others
  • Keep your head up
  • Mirror the person your talking to
  • Avoid nervous twitching and habits
  • Be accessible to others
  • If your holding something like a drink, hold it at your side, not in front of your chest
  • Be positive
  • Nod and acknowledge the other person during a conversation

Wrap Up

Anyone can be approachable; only you can decide if that’s you. Confidence doesn’t come easy for some people. It can take time, but that’s ok. Just be patient and keep working on it. If you have trouble looking someone in the eye, try looking at just one of their eyes or in between their eyes until it gets easier. Not everyone is out to get you. People who say ‘you can come to me and ask me questions’ some really do mean it. That goes for the same to those people who say ‘were always here for you’.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Vulnerability Can Be Good

With 2020 being here, I thought about something that I have been working on for some time which is being more open and vulnerable. It’s one thing we have heard or experienced at some point in our lives good and bad. When some hear this word, they may make anxious, nervous, or just scared. Sometimes seeing the word can stir our thoughts around and tug at our emotions.

Everyone has their own take on vulnerability. Some will say that it’s good for you while others will say that it means weakness and that its bad. When it comes to being very open with anyone, that can be a risky move because your sharing a very personal maybe sentimental experience or information with someone. Your opening up your heart to someone in the hopes that you will build a stronger connection and bond with this person. You also hope that they will not take advantage of you and not tell other people what you told them. Overall your trust toward the other person or people will be tested.

Being vulnerable is risky because in a way your giving a personal piece of yourself as an individual to someone. This someone can abuse and betray you which is no good and can lead to great pain. The trust you had with the other person or people is broken and may not be fixable. Forgive and forget right? Well not always; it all depends what was shared. If you told a close friend who have known for years a secret, you would expect them to not tell anyone else. If the person chooses to not tell anyone else, your trust builds with this person and you grow a bit closer to them.

Vulnerability can also means sympathizing with someone when they open up to you. For example, if someone shares an experience with you that was hurtful, you would want to sympathize with them because they are a friend or family member. Sympathizing with someone who opens up to you builds trust, strengthens bonds, and you make a deeper connection with someone.

Bring vulnerable with someone can be scary even sometimes when you know the other person so well. A girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, best friend are a few examples of individuals who you believe that you can trust. Openness and honesty are core traits that most people have. These two traits can also be the driving force for wanting to be vulnerable. Not everyone can vulnerable especially on command. It takes some effort to do so because your trying to figure out how you will say what you need to say and when will it take place.

Maybe you were vulnerable at one point and the experience was bad. You decide to put up a wall in your mind toward that person or people who did you wrong. You may even go out of your way to avoid them or keep them at arms length. If you want to be more vulnerable and if you want to be more open and honest, as well as here are some tips you can try:

1. Your Not Alone

If you think you are the only person who is struggling to be more open and honest with people, think again. You definitely aren’t the only one who has trouble being vulnerable. There are people who we can be open and honest with. They can be family members, close friends, or trusted teachers. You will be able to figure out who these people are from how they have treated you in the past, how long you have known them, and how close you are to them.

2. Be Careful Who You Open Up To

I want to emphasize this a bit. Being open and vulnerable is a great way to build a better connection with someone, it also involves some risk. You are, in some way, giving a piece of yourself to another person. That person can do whatever they want with that information. They could keep it to themselves or betray your trust and take advantage of you by telling other people and hurt your feelings. I would suggest that you be open and vulnerable to those real close to you. You also may be hesitant to confide in these people as well and that is a normal response. Like I said being vulnerable can be risky.

3. Share Information Your Ready to Share

We have that little voice in our head that helps us figure out what it is right and what is wrong. That voice can be helpful in deciding whether we’re ready to share something very personal to another person and be open and honest with them. Now this doesn’t mean sharing your whole personal life story with someone, but a piece of it. For example, if you have been struggling with something and you’ve been keeping it to yourself maybe this is what you want to open up and share to others. I have been in this position myself.

4. Trust Yourself

The one thing that could stop you from opening up and being vulnerable is not so much who you want to open up to, but yourself. You may be concerned about the outcome and if you can handle it or not. Think back to other situations that were tough for you, but you got through them. What did you do to get through those tough times? Did you think the outcome was going to be horrible at first, but it turned out to be fine? Did you have a support system? That little voice in your head may be telling you that this one friend or family member is someone who I can share this thing with rather than this one friend.

5. Your Worthy

The outcome and the response you get from opening up and being vulnerable is probably the thing going on your mind. You’re concerned that the response you get is going to be positive or negative. Being vulnerable involves strength, so you tell yourself that you are worthy of a positive response. If you are someone who cares about others, doesn’t cause trouble, and doesn’t put people down then I believe you are worthy of a positive outcome.

Sometimes you have to take risks in life. There are opportunities in your life that you can be open and vulnerable with someone or even a group of people. One thing to keep in mind is that the people who pay attention to you may be in a similar place you are. Your courage to be open and vulnerable may inspire them to do the same thing. I’ve seen it happen and I have also experienced it myself. Trust your instincts.