The Friends You Can Confide In

Vulnerability, honesty, and trust. Do these words come to mind when you think of your closest friends? Are you able to confide in them about deep and personal things?

Different Types of Friends

So some of you may already know that there are various kinds of friends out there. You have your athletic friends, those who like to party, those who are good listeners, some who are reserved but easy to get along with, and so on. If this sounds like people you know, your not alone. Every person out there has a variety of friends.

Your allowed to have a variety of friends. Whether your a big social person or someone who is more laid back, having different kinds of friends enriches your life. As I’ve mentioned before, having moral support from friends is just as good as having moral support from family.

Confiding in Others

You have friends who you can laugh and have a fun time with, but you can confide in them if you are troubled. Easy right; well not always. Maybe the reality of your situation is that you have dozens of friends who you get along with, but only a few of them are ones you can talk deep stuff with. You may think you are being a burden to them by dumping you troubles onto them especially if you’ve done it before. You may think your damaging the friendship and that eventually you’ll loose them. If you have thought this way before, your not alone. I’ve been there myself.

As I mentioned you may have a variety of friends who you can talk sports with but not books. Then you have people who you can talk urban legends and unexplained events with, but not video games.

Some people only have that one friend who they can go to no matter what happens and have a deep talk, a rant, and even a good cry. This is what I meant about vulnerability, trust, and honesty. These three traits are precious. Not every person can open up, some have trust issues, and some just don’t know how to tell the truth.

There is a deep connection and understanding between people who are vulnerable to one another. You really get to know someone in how they think, how they handle their emotions, and how they view life. They provide you comfort when you feel fragile, confused, hurt, and broken. Sometimes they give you words of encouragement, a hug, a shoulder to cry on, even a listening ear for you to vent. Sounds like I’m repeating myself a bit, but these kind of people will really do these things for you. In reality, these kind of friends are easier to go to and confide in than our own parents. In my opinion, this shouldn’t be a thing, but it is.

Wrap Up

The close friends you can confide in shouldn’t be taken for granted. Some of the worst and toughest moments of your life are made a bit easier to deal with these kind of friends. If you have these kind of friends in your life, you should consider yourself grateful. Your not alone in this world; these kind of friends will remind you of that. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Things About Wearing an Emotional Mask That You May Not Know

So this week, this is something that has been on my mind for quite some time. Lately we all have had to wear masks to protect ourselves from getting the coronavirus, but these aren’t the only masks we’re wearing.

We all wear an emotional mask at some point in our lives. If your wearing an emotional mask right now, let me just say that your not the only one who is. The person sitting next to you might be wearing one. The individual who you see at the other end of the room could be wearing one. Your best friend you have known for a long time might have worn one at some point in their life and maybe still does. Even your parents wear them every now and then or even right now. We wear these masks because we don’t want the world and the people in our lives to see us for who we really are.

Emotional Masks are a Thing

These kind of masks are not visible like the face masks people are wearing these days. People wear these kind of masks to hide their real emotions, intentions, secrets, morals, and values from the people around them even those close to them. Emotional masks are worn at school, work, when we’re with friends, church, at home, social events, and even when we are with our spouse, partner, boyfriend, and girlfriend.

Fatigue From Wearing Emotional Masks?

Yes, this can happen when you wear an emotional mask for an extended period of time. Your trying to hide your real emotions from others and these emotions can be heavy and strong. This would require you to use a lot of mental energy to keep them at bay. The longer the time period, the more energy you use.

For me, I felt tired not long after I got off of work and didn’t have much energy to do anything. When I took my mask off it felt relieving, but I ended up falling asleep and taking long naps. If you ever wondered why you were feeling tired or exhausted lately, it could be because your mask is still on or your leaving it on for too long.

What Wearing an Emotional Mask Can do to You

You may feel like your about to fall apart trying to get school work in order or crack under the pressure you have been under from work, so you wear an emotional mask to make it seem like you are doing wonderful and have everything under control. Your afraid people will look down on you, you may feel ashamed or guilty about something; overall you don’t want people to see you in a position where you don’t have things figured out or your life together.

For example, you may be getting ready to go to college and your scared. Yet, to your parents, family members, and friends you are excited and ready to begin a new chapter in your life. You don’t want them to know that you’re afraid, so you put on a fake smile and say things like ‘I’ll be all right’ or ‘I know what I’m going to major in college’.

Also by wearing an emotional mask you may end up putting up a wall which can keep people out from getting close to you. What I mean is if someone comes along and is struggling with things in their life, they may feel intimidated by someone who appears to have everything together where in reality they don’t; they’re in the same position as the other person. You could say why wouldn’t the struggling person go to the person who is doing all right and ask for advice to better their life? In some cases they do, but sometimes they don’t. The struggling person can get an idea in their mind that this person who is doing all right doesn’t want to be bothered by them. The negative thinking can make them think that they’ll bring this other person down and cause them problems.

Sometimes putting on an emotional mask to cover your struggles can cause people to not open up to you and be vulnerable. It could also make you not approachable. This doesn’t always happen, but it does. The way people are dealing with their struggles is linked to their self-worth and self-esteem which I have talked about in terms of what could happen if they are both low.

Here are some ways you can take off the emotional mask if your afraid too and how that can be relieving:

  • Prepare and be courageous
  • Be patient with yourself
  • Know who you are and accept yourself
  • Be aware of the process
  • Love yourself
  • Breathe a sigh of relief
  • Forgive yourself
  • Build new and closer connections with people
  • See things in a new perspective


If you want to take off your mask, you first have to want to take it off. You have internal conflicts going on and heavy emotions present. If you have been wearing an emotional mask for an extended period of time, it can take longer to remove it. Gather your courage and remind yourself how much better you will feel by not wearing a mask all the time. Accepting who you are and your flaws can make things easier because you don’t feel the need to hide from people. This can help you love yourself and see your uniqueness in the world.

Forgive yourself of any mistakes you have made. You won’t feel ashamed and/or guilty and the need to hide behind a mask will disappear. Taking off that emotional mask can lower and eliminate that wall you put up. You begin to let people in and show your vulnerability which can lead others to do the same and they feel better about themselves. Be aware of the emotions that are present as you begin to remove your mask. If you take it off bit by bit, pay attention to yourself. Recognize how you feel when you aren’t wearing a mask. It should feel relieving. If it isn’t, you may be rushing things. Be patient with yourself and don’t rush the process. Also don’t forget to breathe a sigh of relief and savior the moments as you begin to remove your mask.

Wrap Up

Removing an emotional mask can help you see the world in a new perspective. You can start seeing people for who they really and look at things differently than you did before. You can see things and people more clearly. Use positive affirmations to help motivate you and keep the voices of anxiety and negative toxic thoughts out of your head. The overall moral is that removing an emotional mask is one of the toughest things a person can do in their life. So hang in there and don’t give up or doubt yourself; you can do it. I learned recently that vulnerability leads to intimacy. By removing your emotional mask and becoming vulnerable, you may inspire those around you to do the same. That can help them open up about their repressed emotions and you may find out that they’re dealing with the same problems and struggles you are. Take care and remember you’re not alone and you have worth in this world.

5 Surprising Ways Your Mental and Emotional State Can Be Fragile


So I’ve talked about how when you go through something troubling and tragic that you can be in pain for an unknown period of time. After the initial pain, numbness, or shock is over, you can still be hurting. There is a point where you start to heal and you may not be hurting as much, but your mental and emotional state is fragile.

Fragile, What Do You Mean?

What I mean is that your mind and your body are in a state where you are very uncomfortable being around any kind of conflict or arguing. You don’t want to argue or fight with anyone or get yelled at by someone. You can be very sensitive to other peoples facial expressions, gestures, and their tone of voice. Even if they raise their tone a little, your mind can translate that to yelling where you can become very uncomfortable and even sad. Your in a very delicate emotional state and that’s ok. You had something horrible happen to you; you can’t just bounce back from it within the hour or next day. Those feelings have to run there course otherwise if they stay bottled up, they’ll come out on their own. You may not like how they come out.

If you have ever felt like this, your not alone. I have felt like this myself and I know a friend of mine was like this last year. Some people hide this state of mind from their co-workers, fellow students, acquaintances, teachers, even friends and family members. I know because I’ve done it myself.

Those Surprising Ways

In this state of mind, you may feel fatigued and not have hardly any energy to do anything. For example, maybe you had an exercise routine where you worked out a few days a week for an hour, but now you don’t have the energy to do it. You might want to stay in bed all day and may sleep all day.

Talking to someone can become difficult whether it’s in person, by phone, or text. You are in a vulnerable state and may not have the energy to stand up for yourself in any situation.

You may even lose your appetite or eat very little. You also may have trouble controlling your thoughts because your mind might want to replay the negative thing that happened to you.

If you had a falling out with someone, hearing their name, seeing them in person or a photo of them, for example can be triggers that drive up your anxiety and you can have trouble focusing on things.

If your were harassed or abused by someone, those same triggers can bring about instant fear where you can start sweating, want to hide, have trouble breathing, or staying still for example.

If this is you, then here’s some tips to get you through this:

  • Slow down and be in the present
  • Don’t criticize yourself
  • Let out your real feelings
  • What do you need that will help you
  • Be gentle with yourself
  • Take some alone time if you need it to sort out things out
  • Practice different relaxation techniques


Being in a fragile emotional state can lower the number of things you can normally tolerate. For example if you were able to handle yourself when someone gave you a bad attitude, you may not be able to do that in this fragile state of mind. That bad attitude would get to you and could bring your mood down.

You can feel fatigued, have trouble sleeping, feel withdrawn from people, and maybe excessively worry about things. Things that you normally wouldn’t worry about. You may even feel worthless and have trouble doing anything productive.

Walk, Don’t Run

When I say be gentle with yourself, I mean that you shouldn’t rush the healing process. After the initial hurt, shock, and numbness have happened, you begin to start feeling ok, but you feel like glass. As I mentioned, the things you were able to tolerate and cope with before, you may not be able to handle them right away.

You may have been dealing with difficult people at work, school, or with family members. In this state, you may not be able to stand your ground and hold your own with them. You may feel like avoiding any kind of confrontation because you just can’t deal with it right now that.

Let the feelings run their course. There may be days where you feel sad. If that’s the case let yourself be sad. If you have to miss a party or event because you need some alone time, that’s ok. Sometimes you need that alone time to sort things out and put yourself back together. I have done this myself. Engaging in your hobbies can be helpful. Painting, building a model of something, playing video games, watching movies, doing a puzzle, playing with your pets, etc are things you can do by yourself. If you need to vent and let off some steam, find someone who will listen to you. Maybe you just need to let out a good yell. I have tried a technique where I tightened and relaxed my muscles (Progressive Muscle Relaxation).

Getting a little personal, after my mom passed away from stage 4 lung cancer, I didn’t have the energy to do anything. Spending time with friends was a hard thing to gather energy to do. My best friend from high school helped me to get out of the house. I enjoyed hiking in a new area and met new friends.

Wrap Up

Everyone who has been in a fragile, emotional and mental state has handled it differently than the other person. Some people need to be alone and some need to be around others who love and care about them. You have to figure out what’s best for you. What’s important is that you make sure that you eat something and not neglect your hygiene. If a shower doesn’t feel right, try taking a bath and just lay in the water. Maybe music will help you to express the emotions you’re currently feeling. Take care of yourselves and remember your not alone in the world and you have worth.