Combating What Others Think of You

What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.

Deepak Chopra

At some point or another, we have thought about what other people have thought of us. We wonder if they really like us as a friend or something more, what they think of our clothes, or if they think were weird or cool. There are so many things that we think about when it comes to what other people think about us. It can cause us to experience a whirlwind of emotions that can bring us down and drive us a little crazy. I have been in this predicament dozens of times myself. Your definitely not alone. It happens to everyone. The key is not letting this idea rule our lives.

Why Do We Care About What Others Think of Us

It’s just something that happens to us as we grow up. As we begin to think more critically, we begin to figure out who we are as a person. We begin to have more in depth conversations with people. People are able to develop more opinions about themselves, life, places, and other people. As time goes on, those opinions get challenged by others and what you think isn’t the way someone else thinks. You then start to think about what the other person thinks of you.


You could be in a place where you want to be accepted by someone or a particular group of people. You believe that if they accept you, you will feel better about yourself and always be happy. You also think that you will feel horrible and sad if they don’t accept you into the group. At this point, your putting the control of your happiness in other people’s hands. Going back to acceptance, you may believe that your not fully accepted by your family or friends for who you are; so you may go to great lengths to find out what you can do to be accepted by them even if it goes against your character, your personality, your morals and values.

Sense of Belonging

We have a need to feel like we belong somewhere. We seek to find our place in the world. We try different things and go through trial and error to find where we feel comfortable and where we can thrive at. During the process, we encounter people who seem like they have it all together. We want to have what they have and we think that we won’t be able to befriend them if we’re not on their level. We may let the stress get the better of us and think that the other person will look down on us for being where we are at in our life. We also may think that they will judge us for the job we have, the grades we get in school, how we dress, if we have any tattoos or piercings, how social we are with others, even our age, height, weight, gender, and ethnicity. We may do or get things that we don’t like or find appealing just to feel like we belong somewhere and not get looked down upon.

Here are some ways to stop caring about what other people think of you:

  • Find what makes you happy
  • Age and maturity
  • Boost your self-esteem
  • Stay true to yourself
  • Try not to please others
  • Don’t overthink
  • Life is too short, live in the moment
  • Desensitize your triggers

If you find what makes you happy, you will be in a place where you feel satisfied and relaxed. In this state of mind, you won’t care about what others think of you because you’re already happy and feel no need to please anyone.

I learned a long time ago that the older you get the more you tend to not care what other people think. Some of us are worried about being embarrassed in front of others and that we may get a bad reputation or be seen as a weirdo or outcast. Being embarrassed only means were human and it happens to all of us.

If your self-esteem is up, your confidence will be up. If your confidence is up, you feel more of a sense of satisfaction especially around people. You won’t feel a need to think about what other people think of you sense you already feel good.

It’s important to stay true to yourself. There is only one of you in this world. Don’t sacrifice your morals and values just to please other people. Your family and real friends will like you for who are. Pleasing others can lead to getting unwanted stress and you may not get the respect of the other person or people in the end.

You can find yourself overthinking about everything which can drive you nuts. You can even find yourself overthinking about what others think about you which, in my opinion, is worse. There are things out there that come to you that are face value. There are people out there who will be honest and tell you the truth up front. Those are the people you can trust. Not everyone out there is out to get you.

Another way to stop thinking about what others think about you is to desensitize your triggers. What I mean by that is what are the things that cause you to start thinking this way. Do you believe that the other person isn’t being honest with you? Did you overhear something and now you don’t know what to do with that information? The challenge is to catch yourself before this kind of thinking begins. What I have found helpful is to pay attention to your emotions. If you begin to get emotional and your anxiety spikes up, then maybe you found a trigger.

Final Thoughts and Sum Up

Life is too short to be constantly caring about what other people think about you. Easier said than done I know. It’s taken me some time to just let things go and move forward with my life. Focusing and living in the present is where you can find peace, enjoy good times, and make memories. The right people will come along in your life and you won’t have to be heavily concerned about what they think about you because they will accept you for who you are.

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