Helping While in the Shadows

Have you ever wanted to make someone’s day better? Did you want to give someone some words of encouragement? If you answered yes to these questions, that’s great. Now let me ask you this, have you done these things but wanted to remain anonymous?

Wanting to help others, but wanting to be anonymous during the process isn’t something odd. I personally have done this numerous times and many people do this too, so your not alone. So why do people want to help those they care about but want to remain anonymous or in the shadows while doing so?

Helping From Afar

I previously talked about insecurities as well as low self-esteem before. Not long ago I talked about not wanting to be around wonderful good people because you felt like you didn’t deserve their attention or company. That being said, you still want to help these people in any way you can.

You may be going through a period where you feel insecure or really shy but you want to help out a friend. So maybe you give them something in their absence. You may slip a note of encouragement in their locker at school and it’s signed anonymous, you leave someone some money in their work cubicle, or you make an anonymous donation to a friend or family members charity. You may change or edit an invoice or someone’s English paper and then walk away.

Why Though?

Some people do this because they don’t feel like they don’t deserve the person who their helpings gratitude and thanks. They don’t feel worthy enough to be around these kind of people because of bad past experiences where their gratitude wasn’t appreciated and fear of rejection.

Being in the shadows feels comfortable for some people. For example, last year someone I know donated some money to a mutual friend of ours charity she was supporting, but the person remained anonymous. She was very happy with the donation, but she never found out who it was.

Some people will follow their friend’s social media accounts, but not interact with them. They may check their recent posts and tweets to see what they’re up to, but not comment or ‘like’ them. These people will read what is said and send good vibes that person’s way or say a prayer for them.

If you are someone who wants to break this habit and way of thinking, here are some ways to do that:

  • Accept your flaws
  • Be gentle with yourself
  • Accept acts of gratitude and the other person’s words of kindness
  • Don’t second guess yourself or the other person’s words or gestures
  • Embrace the good values and morals about yourself
  • Challenge your insecurities
  • Eliminate unrealistic expectations
  • Eliminate All or Nothing mindsets

Wrap Up

Helping those you care about in the shadows may be odd to some, but as long as your not being weird or inappropriate about it, your ok. Good intentions can be present, but they can be wrapped with insecurities and unrealistic expectations. This kind of mindset can be overcome, it takes time though. You are worthy of being around good people and having good people in your life. Like I said I have been through this myself. It took time, but I was able to overcome it. So if I can do it, you can as well.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

May Update

Hi everyone. I have been dealing with some personal things lately. Tomorrow, I plan to upload some more Relaxing music pieces. I plan to resume regular uploads starting next week. With it being Mental Health Awareness month, I plan to upload content related to the importance of mental health.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Update going forward

Hi everyone. I hope everyone had a nice week as April starts to end this week. I got a few things new things to update you all on. First, I won’t be posting any content from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. EST. The new job I got has me working for pretty much the entire afternoon now until 7. Second, I uploaded a new ‘Question of the week’ as well as more relaxing music from the Donkey Kong video game series. Third, the stress of acclimating to the new job has been tough. So once again there will be no new posts this week. I’m so sorry, I’m still trying to reorganize and figure out various things in my life. The things I could do in the later afternoon I no longer can do. I’ll post another update next Sunday May 2nd to let you all know what’s going on.

Thank you all for understanding. Thank you for reading the content I have posted and leaving comments. I truly appreciate it. That helps renergize me and helps keeps me going. Getting a new job can be a big stressor to deal with. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Ever Feel Like you Didn’t Deserve to be Around Wonderful People?

Was there a time where you met someone and he or she was so much fun getting to know and being around? I’m sure there are several people like that in your life. As time went on however, as you got to know this person, did you begin to think differently about yourself? Did you start to believe that you weren’t good enough to be around? Did you think that you weren’t good enough to be their friend? Maybe you reached a point where you just stayed away from this person and avoided them.

Not Good Enough, but why?

‘Not good enough’ is a phrase we have said, read, thought of, or heard at some point in our lives. Your not alone if any of these things have ever been on your mind. This is something I battled with for quite some time recently. There are people with very big hearts who are funny, generous, humble, and kind to everyone they meet. There are people who gravitate toward them because they are such wonderful people to be around.

However, as I mentioned there are individuals who stay away from those kinds of people for various reasons. Maybe they don’t think there good enough to be in their presence. They may think they’ll say something to make that person feel bad.

These thoughts stem from our insecurities. I have mentioned flaws in the past; that we should accept them because that makes us unique and it’s easier to live our lives with them. Well our flaws can get the best of us at times and can make us think less of ourselves if we let them take control of the steering wheel.

We think things like, ‘I’m stupid for thinking that I was good enough’ or ‘No matter how hard I try, my best will never be good enough’. These are some thoughts I battled with for over a year. We compare our self-worth to those who we believe are better than us.

We may think that we we have things under control in our lives, but then when we see or interact with someone who is smiling, laughing, making jokes, and is overall all joyful, we can sometimes begin to look down on ourselves. We can start to think that our negative or less than positive vibe will bring down someone else’s positive and joyful vibe. If things get too bad, we even may just cheat ourselves out of a fun time and let the negative and toxic thinking take away all the good that there is or could be.

Insecurities Taking Control

If our insecurities get the better of us, toxic thoughts, lies, and all kinds if negative vibes can occur within us. These things can effect us not just mentally and emotionally, but also physically as well. The longer this goes on, the harder it can be to get out of this negative cycle.

Insecurities can affect the way we interact with everyone around us. We look at someone different than who they really are. We may think that everything in their life comes easy to them, they don’t don’t know what its like to feel down, and that they get everything handed to them on a silver platter.

Your insecurities can make it hard for you to love yourself. You don’t feel satisfied with everything you do. You second guess yourself with things you say or do. You think that you could have done better. Though we strive to do better, getting stuck in that mindset can cause us to loose touch with the present and ignore any progress or hard work we do or have done.

What Really May be Going on

Now at this point you think that this other person with a big heart is and is doing better than you. Well remember my post on wearing emotional masks? These people with big hearts could be wearing them. On the outside they look like everything is fine, but in the inside they’re not doing so good.

Your insecurities can give you a negative lense in seeing life. You may not see the reality of the situation. Things may not be as bad as you made them out to be.

If anything I have mentioned spoke true to you, here are some tips to not let your insecurities get the better of you:

  • Find what traits makes you unique and special than everyone else. Being different isn’t a bad thing.
  • Find what factors and traits you and the other person have in common
  • Listen to their words and don’t second guess them
  • Take care of yourself and respect your well being.
  • Treat yourself to something nice
  • Insecurities can create unrealistic expectations and facts. Find out, challenge, and pick apart those things to see if they really are true
  • REALLY really get to know the other person so if there are things repeated about themselves, you begin to realize that those things are really true
  • Learn to accept your flaws
  • Work through your insecurities and not let them control you and be patient with yourself
  • Learn to take what the other person says at face value. Not everyone is out to get you, wanting to deceive, lie, or manipulate you
  • Seek professional help or morale and emotional support from family and friends if things are too tough to handle alone

Wrap Up

Learning to love yourself sounds easy, but it can be one of the hardest things to learn and do in your life. It’s something that takes time and maybe your whole life. You may have to work through some tough things, but it’s worth it.

What I found is that you can reach a point where your insecurities aren’t controlling you, but your able to manage them better. You can work off of that foundation better until you reach a point where you are at peace with yourself. What is that point you may be wondering, I don’t know; only you know that. Everyone gets to that place differently and at different times.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Update

Hey everyone. Hopefully 2021 has been treating you all well as we enter March today. So unfortunately this week there will be no new posts. Work has been real busy for me the past 2 weeks. I was hoping things would die down and that I would be back to working 5 days instead of 6, but that’s not happening right now. I also recently submitted a proposal to not only set up an HR dept at my workplace place, but possibly running it too.

So I’m going to be taking a week off to recharge myself. I hope you all understand. This is something I didn’t want to do, but I don’t want to burn myself out. I’m also volunteering at my church every other week on top of things going on in my personal life. I really appreciate everyone of your comments, follows, and likes.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world. See you all later

Doing Things Out of Habit, Yet Your Not Fully Aware of What Your Doing

Your not alone if you’ve ever have done things strictly out of habit. You also may not have known that you were doing them either. I’m not talking about being intoxicated or being on drugs, I’m referring to things that you do out of instinct or are second nature to you, but your mind doesn’t always register what your doing.

Robot Mode

There are things in our life that we do automatically because we have done them so many times just recently or have been doing them for an extended period of time. These can range from folding clothes, doing long division, sculpting, painting, fixing a tractor, etc. If we have done something numerous times for an extended period of time, then we can do those things and be sometimes not be fully aware of our actions. This doesn’t happen all the time, but we can sometimes get more easily caught up in our thoughts.

For example, you have vacuumed your living numerous times that you have your own technique and way of doing it. The next time you vacuum, you are still aware of your surroundings and what you need to sweep, but more of your energy is going more toward your how you think. You may be thinking about work the next day, how your going to study for your quiz tomorrow, do you have feelings for a friend of yours, if your brother is feeling better after getting the flu, etc. You can be doing a lot of thinking to where your lost in your thoughts, yet your still doing a good job vacuuming your living room. You may have been so caught in your thoughts that you didn’t realize that you finished vacuuming the living room. Vacuuming the living room has become second nature to you.

This is what I mean by going into robot mode. Your aware that your doing something, but you were putting more of your energy and focus toward your thoughts. You were more present in your mind than you were to what is going on around you and what you were doing.

Back to the Present

Long term habits can become second nature and instinctual to you as I mentioned. Sometimes it takes a loud sound, someone talking to you, or touching you to bring you back to reality. There may be a sudden scare or a bit of confusion by coming back to the present.

I believe we don’t always intentionally get lost in our thoughts when we do things we’ve done dozens of times. If we have something big on our mind that were trying to figure out, we can get caught up in trying to solve it.

Here’s some tips on how to better manage this concept and how to come back to the present:

  • Distract your mind by talking to someone
  • Try something different that you’ve never done before (doesn’t have to be big)
  • Change up your behavioral patterns by doing something you normally do last first
  • Do things that are second nature to you first if you have a list of things to get done. They can get done faster
  • Close your eyes and pay closer attention to the sounds around you and describe them in as much detail as you can

Wrap Up

I hope this concept wasn’t too confusing to understand. We can go into robot mode when we do something for too long even in a short amount of time. If we do anything over and over again for an extended period of time, we can get more caught up in our thoughts to where we’re doing more deep and cognitive thinking than normal. You can say getting caught up in our thoughts is another way of entertaining ourselves if were doing something not exciting to us, but we have done it many many times.

As I mentioned in the vacuuming your living room example, time can get away from you. Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes it’s not. The deep thinking were doing can be about the past or the future. It’s hard to stay on the present because we do think ahead to the future or look back into our past.

We tend to not do any deep thinking when were learning something new because were putting our energy and focus into learning that thing. Were not giving ourselves the opportunity to get caught up in our thoughts. This can include listening to someone, mimicking what someone else is doing, or seeing how something is done. Learning new things can become habits down the road and they can become second nature and instinctual to you where you can go into robot mode.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Update

So I need to make a change to the schedule. I’ve been working more than I usually do. That and volunteering at my church has been a bit draining for me.

So temporarily, I have decided to hold off on ‘Here’s Something Interesting’ posts for Friday. These posts do require a bit more research than regular posts. I’m hoping when work settles down a bit, I can get back to posting on Friday.

Also posts may not be uploaded around 11 A.M. or 12 P.M. EST as I originally said. I work in the morning and usually I had a break period where I could post things. With things getting busy, it’s been tough to post in that time frame. I will still try to post in that time frame. If work becomes too much, then posts will be uploaded around no later than 2:30 P.M. EST

The Relaxing Music page and Food for Thought posts will still be random. Friday at the moment will not have anything posted or updated for the time being.

I hope you all understand and if you do thank you. I still appreciate the feedback I have gotten from you guys. It means a lot that I have created posts that you all have enjoyed and have learned new things.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

New Page

I have created a new page called Relaxing Music. Instead of reading or watching something, I thought it would be nice to have a page where you can listen to music and relax.

This kind of relaxing music is mostly going to come from video games. Personally, there has been wonderful pieces of music I have heard from playing video games most of my life.

This new page will be updated at random as well. The posts on this page may substitute posts originally scheduled for some days and days where nothing is scheduled. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

No Post Today Sorry

So today I would have uploaded a new ‘Here’s Something Interesting’ post, however I have been working at my job more this past week and have been busier than usual. I also had to work on the day I normally have off.

I apologize for this inconvenience. My plan is to still post the Question of the Week Sunday and Monday will be the Symbolism post along with today’s ‘Here’s Something Interesting’ post.

This past week, I also found out my dad got tested for Covid and even though it came back negative, it had to be sent out to the health department for it to be 100% negative.

I hope you all have a great weekend. Take care, stay safe, and remember you have worth in this world.

Traits and Qualities You Have that Other People are Wanting Very Bad

Have you ever seen someone whose life you believe to be better than yours? Did you think that they have everything in their life altogether while your struggling to accomplish that? There’s a chance you probably have. However while you were comparing yourself to someone you think is better than you, another person was comparing themselves to you. This person was thinking you have everything in your life altogether and they are struggling to accomplish that.

Something you Have, Another Person is Craving

Now I’m not talking about material objects. What I’m referring to is personality traits, qualities, a job, and an education. These are non material things that people want, wish they had, desperately want, and would do anything to get them.

Personality Factors

Personality traits and qualities are different for everyone. You may cherish your traits and qualities and maybe you don’t pay much attention to them. You may even take some of the factors about yourself for granted and not realize that they are really special. Yet someone from the outside can see these personality factors and see how special they are.

Examples include:

  • Sympathy
  • Empathy
  • Intelligence
  • Sense of Humor
  • Independence
  • Optimism
  • Honesty
  • Tolerance for various things
  • Troubleshooting Skills
  • Confidence
  • Warmth
  • Openness
  • Gratitude
  • Emotional Stability
  • Self Control
  • Leadership
  • Loyalty
  • Courageous

The list goes on. You can have these traits and qualities and someone (whether it’s a friend, family member, or a stranger) really wants and wishes they had them.

Jobs

If your if someone who has a job, here’s somethingto think of. The world is a huge place full of people. You at some point have heard of poverished nations. Countries where anyone will take any job they can get.

There are people who wish that they had your dream job of being a college professor. Your job of being a waitress is one you may not fully enjoy, but keep in mind, someone on this planet would give up a lot just to have that position.

Education

A GED, diploma, and/or college degree are material things that symbolize an accomplishment you worked hard to achieve. The knowledge, skills, and experience you got while working on achieving those things however are what another person is craving. You sat through those classes and got your hands dirty to learn what you know.

An education is something that people take for granted. Your parents may have made several sacrifices to send you to college like taking a second job, helped you with your homework instead of spendingtime with friends, moved to a new area so you could go to a good school as a kid.

The Takeaway

Normally I mention tips and give advice, but here’s a different takeaway. If anything I have mentioned really spoke to you, your not alone. When I started learning about these things, they were a real eye opener for me. What I would recommend is be grateful for what you have; be blessed by these things. Being envious with what others have and comparing yourself to them is something we do as humans. For those who have been following me from the start, I wrote about comparing yourself to other people over a year ago in my second post.

It’s all right to strive for more and to be better, but be grateful for what you have and appreciate the journey and path you’re on. It’s all right to be inspired by other people, but don’t go changing who you are to match them. You don’t always know exactly what is going on in someone else’s life. Appreciate what you have even if it’s not huge and stupendous. If it’s small, that’s good to because someone out there is wanting it really bad.

Wrap Up

You have various traits, skills, and qualities about yourself that make you unique and special. There may be people in your life that wish they could do what can do and have what you have personality wise. That conversation you had with the cashier from Starbucks may wish that they had your sense of humor. People looking at you from the outside may see some things about you that you can’t. Be grateful and appreciate what you have and who you are. Unfortunately there are people in this world that are less fortunate than you.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth.