The Schedule

So after blogging for over a year. I’ve been brainstorming a schedule of when and what I want to post things so you guys can know what days things get added.

Here’s the breakdown:

Sunday – Question of the week post

Monday – New topic post

Symbolism post

Videos post

Video Discussion

(Each of these types of posts will rotate each week)

Wednesday – Good Vibes post

Friday – Here’s Something Interesting Post

As you noticed, I’m introducing a new type of post called ‘Here’s Something Interesting’. These posts will be short and have some scientific facts about why we feel the way we do and why we act in ways you wouldn’t normally think.

Food for Thought posts are going to be random for weekdays since they will be short and my goal is to write them up when I hear or read something eye opening and intriguing.

I’m aiming to have all my posts be posted in the morning around 11, noon, or in between EST U.S. time unless stated otherwise. Question of the week posts however will be posted around 10 a.m. EST U.S. time.

The schedule will be in the ‘About Me’ tab near the bottom and will be updated when and if needed.

Update

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas (for those who celebrate it). I hope you were able to rejuvenate yourselves, relax, and be at peace.

So, I’ve been planning on what I want to introduce for the beginning of the new year and how things will go about. This week, there will be no posts until January 3rd. I’m working on a schedule of what days I will post something. Expect that to be coming soon.

2020 has had its share of trials, hardships, and challenges. Some have had it rougher than others. As the year winds down, I hope you are to able to reflect on the good things that happened. Even if they are small and the bad outweighed the good, you can still say the year wasn’t completely 100% bad.

Have a wonderful Happy New Year. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Merry Christmas to All

I hope those who celebrate Christmas have a wonderful day today. I know this year has a been a hard year for all of us, but I hope today you are able to relax and spend time with your loved ones. Even if you can’t travel or be with each other face-to-face, there’s Zoom, Google Meet, or any kind of online streaming service to use as an alternative.

Thank you all for the support you have given me. I appreciate you all and I hope that my writings have helped you feel better, cleared any confusion you may have had, and answered questions you may have been thinking about.

Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world. 🎄☃️

The Newest Addition

I hope everyone is having a good week so far. Hope, if your getting snow in your area, that your staying warm and safe.

So I’m introducing a new tab called ‘Good Vibes’. This page will consist of quotes, images, sayings, words of encouragement, and occasionally videos. The purpose is that everyone feels better when good vibes are sent there way whether they’re having a good day or a bad one.

New things are still to come so stay tuned. Take care, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Unknown Future, Regrets in the Past, Live in the Present

Our future is something that has been on our mind at some point.  We think about the next day, week, month, and year.  We try to plan things far out in advance and sometimes life says otherwise.  Sometimes not knowing the future can be scary.

There are people who map put there future.  They map out when they will graduate college and grad school.  They map out their career path, what age they want to get married, if their going to move somewhere new, how many kids they want to have, the age and year they want to retire, when they want to buy a house, etc.  There are people who try to map these things out, but you if noticed map out how old they want to be when they achieve one of those goals and what year it should happen.

It’s all right to have goals and plans like finishing college, having a career, wanting to get married and have kids, and living on your own.  Trying to map out every precise and specific detail can become stressful and no fun.  I have mentioned the unknown factor before and that can happen at any point in your life.  It can help and ruin well thought out plans.

When our plans get ruined or we don’t have a plan, that’s when the future can be scary.  We don’t have anything to work toward or have something to look forward to we can become lost, confused, stressed, and fearful about the future.

Past Regrets

We have a tendency to look back at our past sometimes seeking answers to our questions or when we do some soul searching.  Sometimes however we get caught up in our past mistakes and regrets.  Sometimes this just happens or we do it to ourselves intentionally. 

We sometimes dwell on those things thinking what different about outcomes could have happened or what we could have done different. 

In the back of our mind, we believe that we can undo every one of them especially the big ones.  In some cases we can, and in some cases we can’t.

Savor the Present

‘Live like there’s no tomorrow’ is another saying that we have heard at some point in our lives.  Living and savoring the moment can be difficult for some people to do.  Some people believe that they have to be doing something every moment of everyday. 

Instead of looking ahead, take a moment to look around your current surroundings.  Are you outside?  Look up at the sky and take that in.  Are you in your living room?  Try putting down and turning off all electronic devices and just sit in silence.  If your laying on your bed, turn everything off and take some slow deep breaths.

Did something good happen to you?  Did you relish that moment, that good feeling?  If you did that’s wonderful.   If you didn’t and were thinking about something else, it’s ok; I’ve done that myself.  I was thinking about the next thing I was going to do or question that compliment.

Advice and Tips

Here’s some advice and tips on how to balance the past, present, and future:

  • Take each day one day at a time
  • You don’t have tomorrow’s energy; you only have enough for today
  • It’s ok to not be ok.  You don’t need everything single thing in your life to be mapped out right now
  • You can add things, make changes along the way, and things can still be fine
  • Learn from your past and look forward and right in front of you
  • Forgive those who wronged you or forgive yourself
  • Be grateful for what you have
  • Appreciate the good people in your life
  • Dream about the future, but focus on what you can do today
  • Look back at past achievements, but don’t dwell on them

Wrap Up

Like Ferris Buehler once said “Life moves very fast.  If you don’t stop to look around once in awhile, you could miss it”.  It’s ok to think about your future.  It’s all right to make plans for your future.  You can have a general idea and be all right.  Where people make the mistake is that they try to map out very specifics details in a specific and sometimes condensed time frame.  They dwell on those plans for a majority of their day and sometimes neglect their health and friends and family.  They hope nothing unexpected will happen otherwise they believe everything can fall apart and chaos will rule their lives.

It’s all right to look back in your past to understand your roots.  What people fall victim to is getting caught up in those regrets and mistakes where they dwell on them and feel bad afterwards.  They try to change things that already happened to them in the hope that the outcome will change even if a lot of time has gone by.

Living in the present is one thing, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think ahead or make any plans for your future.  You can plan out your day like things to do in the morning, what you want to do after school or work, or what your having for dinner tonight.  If we want to change something about ourselves that we don’t like and is hurtful to others, sometimes we need to look back to our past to find where things started and work there.

Enjoy those good moments, accept those compliments, and remember it’s ok to stop and do nothing.  Take care of yourselves, stay safe, and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to let you all know here will be no more content this week as I am spending time with my family. I know this Thanksgiving is probably gonna be different for everyone this year. There are still plenty of things to be thankful for though. I’m thankful that this blog has helped me heal and the feedback that I have gotten from my friends, family, and some of my followers has been wonderful. I hope my advice has been helpful to those who read what I write. I also hope you all stay safe and enjoy time with your loved ones tomorrow. Take care everyone.

Ever Heard of Toxic Positivity? It’s a Thing

Well here’s my first official post after being on hiatus for a little over 2 months. While on hiatus, there were some new things that I learned about. One of them is toxic positivity.

Now how could positivity be toxic? That’s what I thought at first, but then I looked more into it. Well it’s something that isn’t catastrophic and horrible, but it can be hurtful even in the long run.

What is Toxic Positivity?

That’s the definition of this topic. I’m sure at some point in our lives we were in a situation where we had to make it appear that we were happy and everything was all right where in reality that wasn’t the case. We had to hold back our tears, keep our frustrations in check, and even forget about our problems and struggles.

This goes back to my post on wearing emotional masks to keep up a positive yet fake appearance. Not expressing and letting out other emotions like anger, sadness, or fear for example, your burying those feelings and not being true to yourself. This may not always cause complications right away, but there can be some problems in the future.

Toxic positivity is a form of avoidance. A person can have those negative emotions and not want to acknowledge them maybe assuming that they’ll go away on their own. Acknowledging emotions shows that their present, but something you may not know is that you don’t have to fully embrace them in that moment. You can recognize it, but you can move past it immediately.

Situational Examples

If you’re dealing with something negative, some environments make it hard to express these emotions. When were at school, it’s hard to show sadness for example because some would say that you would be disrupting the class.

If your at work and working with kids and your angry with someone, you couldn’t yell or swear at the kids for no reason. You would have to bite your tongue or in an extreme case don’t go into work if you can’t control your emotions. Any kind of outbursts toward the kids, boss, or your co-workers wouldn’t be good.

If you were around people who let’s say you believed were doing better than you, it may make you feel uncomfortable to be around or associate with them. Your outward appearance says happiness, but on the inside you feel jealous.

Your not being true to yourself or your emotions.

Phrases

There are some phrases that we may have said to someone who was feeling down and it turns out that those words weren’t helping the person and we’re actually making things worse.

Here is a list of some of those phrases:

  • Just be happy
  • Only good vibes
  • You’ll get over it
  • Think happy thoughts
  • You’ll get through this
  • Stop being negative
  • See the good in everything
  • Never give up

Some of these phrases I have said to someone myself in an effort to try to help them; so your not alone if you have done this. Giving up on something should ONLY be done if it’s causing you any kind of physical, mental, or emotional harm to yourself or to other people.

Below is a chart of positivity and toxic positivity phrases:

Handling Toxic Positivity

So you may be asking yourself, ‘how can I be true to myself?’ or ‘how can I help someone in my life without giving them any kind of toxic positivity?’. Here are some ways in how to handle toxic positivity:

  • Don’t believe that you should ‘be happy’ all the time
  • Talk to someone who will ‘really’ listen to you
  • Your not a bad person if your not happy
  • Possibly look into therapy
  • It’s ok to feel whatever it is your feeling. Welcome all your feelings
  • Lend a listening ear to someone instead of advice
  • Acknowledging that someone feels bad and being around them may be all the support and comfort they need

Here is a chart of how to avoid toxic positivity:

Discussion

As I mentioned before, you’re not alone if you have said any of those phrases or done anything that will be considered toxic positivity. Some of those phrases we learn indirectly from other people or from what we read sometimes. Those phrases or other behaviors that resemble toxic positivity are mostly done with good intentions. Most people aren’t trying to make things worse for the other person. Sometimes those you care about like family members or close friends may just need a hug to start feeling better. They don’t need any tips or a lecture on their problems.

Wrap Up

Looking into this topic was an eye opener for me. Maybe it was an eye opener for you as well. Some of our personalities is about solving and fixing problems that we encounter; that could be our own or other peoples. We sometimes get in our head that we have to do something huge in order to fix something even if it’s simple and that it’s going to require a lot of work. That’s not always the case; sometimes we just have to take a step back and look at the overall problem and deconstruct it bit by bit.

It’s nice to be back and there will be more content coming. Thank you for your support I really appreciate it and remember your not alone and you have worth in this world.

It’s been a while, but I’m Back

Hey everyone, I’m back after a couple of months of taking some time off. I feel better after breaking away from social media for awhile. I was able to rethink some of my priorities and eliminate some toxic thoughts and lies that have been bothering me for some time. I’m still working on accepting my flaws, and creating and solidifying my boundaries. I also have been working on my physical health which was affecting my mental and emotional health. I was experiencing quite a bit of fatigue during the middle of summer. I got a physical and blood work done which helped me work on improving different areas of my physical health which has helped me gain more energy.

So I spent some time coming up with those new ideas and topics that I wanted to add to my website. One new thing I want to do is post things called ‘Food for Thought’. These kind of posts will be short and simple. If I come up with an interesting thought, a realization, read an interesting quote, or something that catches my attention, I will post it. Be on the lookout for those.

Video posts and video discussions will still be a thing. I’m wanting to rotate them each month so there will be a month with a video post and the next month there will be a video discussion post and then back to a video post.

Another new thing I want to incorporate is posts about symbolism. I have found out that people can relate to their troubles and struggles through imagery. Whether that’s through material objects, landscapes, or various kinds of environments. The idea is to take some real life things and explain them in a way that explains various mental problems and struggles.

I also want to incorporate posts on analogies. During my social media hiatus, I found myself using analogies to explain various things. Analogies are another thing I found that help explain things to people.

So that’s what I have been up to during my hiatus. As a teaser, the next official topic is about toxic positivity. You can expect that post to come later today.

Thank you all for understanding the time I needed to be away and do some necessary ‘me’ work. I really appreciate it. I’m in a better spot than I was a couple of months ago. Take care and as always your not alone and you have worth in this world.

Previous Questions of the Week

What morals and values are important to you?

When was the last time you tried something new?

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

Are there times where you are mad at someone but you were really mad at yourself?

What’s the most sensible thing you ever heard someone say?

Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

Can you think of a time when the impossible became possible?

Right now, what three questions do you wish you knew the answers to?

How would you spend your ideal day?

If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?

Ever look up at the sky (cloudy, storming, clear, sunny) and feel like one of them suits your current mood good or bad?

Do you savor the moment or let it slide by?

Social Hiatus

So I’m sorry to say that there won’t be a new post today or for awhile. I’m taking a break from social media to clear my mind and sort some things out. I have been having writers block lately which is kinda new to me. I have some personal things to take care of where I need to reprioritize my daily functions and deconstruct old thoughts and unrealistic expectations.

As I mentioned, I have some ideas for different kinds of content to post alongside regular posts, video posts, video discussions, and questions of the week. I’m also thinking about posting two or three times a week like when I started. Maybe with one regular post and some shorter ones. Nothing is set in stone yet; all of this is still in the brainstorming phase. I will update you all on what will take place after I come back.

I will leave a post of all the previous questions of the week that I have left so far in case you missed any of them

This was a tough decision to make, but I feel that I need to recharge myself and then come back fresh and with new ideas. Thank you all for understanding and again I’m sorry, but I need to get away for awhile. Take care of yourselves, be safe out there, and as always your not alone and you have worth in the world.